Carrots With Ketchup

Part 15

“Josée?” Harry said my name, pulling me out of my reverie. It was later that night. We had changed out of our wedding outfits and I had washed off my makeup, except for what was covering my scar. I was in my striped pajama bottoms and a white tank top, hugging my knees to my chest sitting on our couch in front of the fire. Harry sat beside me with his arm around me resting on the back of the couch. I had the feeling he’d been talking to me for a while and I hadn’t noticed. I had been busy thinking about what happened with Louis earlier and what could have happened if I hadn’t sent him back to Eleanor.

            “Hmm?” I questioned, directing my attention towards him.

            He sighed. “You were thinking about him again, weren’t you?”

I was shocked. Was I that obvious? I was going to lose my role if I was. “What do you mean?”

Pulling his arm off the couch, he sighed again. “Josée, we both know what I mean. You’re thinking about Louis.”

I uncurled my legs. “Well obviously. We argued earlier. I was hurt. I’m going to want to reflect on what happened.”

“That’s not true. I know you think about him all the time.”

That brought me up short. Avoiding his eyes, I said, “What are you talking about?”

He looked away from me as well. “I began to wonder after the accident if something was going on between you two. I didn’t leave the room just to call my mom. I left because you said Louis’ name in your sleep. If anyone else had been at the hospital at the time, I would have asked them to watch you while I stepped out. I didn’t want you to wake up alone. But Louis was the only one available, so I asked him to. When I came back, the nurse said she had put you back to sleep due to stress. I saw the tearstains on your cheeks and guessed you had argued. You said his name more and more but when you woke up, it was like nothing was wrong. Still I began to wonder, remembering how you used to act around each other. Nobody ever noticed how you reacted to each other. He moves, you move. You still cry his name in your sleep sometimes. And tonight, when he caught you, I was almost sure. I was going to ask you in private when you were finished fixing your makeup, but I overheard you and Louis arguing.”

My eyes flooded with tears. “Harry…” I whispered.

“It made me realize that I don’t actually know you at all. I know basic things, but nothing truly personal. Louis, he knows everything about you. He knows how to cheer you up; he knows what makes you sad; he knows all your little secrets. All I know is that he loves you…and you love him.”

“No, Harry, no! It’s you I love! I love you!” With the tears streaming down my face, it didn’t sound very convincing.

Harry turned and looked me in the eyes intensely. I shattered under his gaze. “Harry, I’m sorry! I do love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!”

Surprisingly, Harry pulled me into a hug. “I know,” he whispered, “but you love him more.”

I sobbed into his shoulder. I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore.

“Which is why,” he continued, “I’m breaking up with you.”

I leaned back and stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked. “What? Harry, no! Why? I’ll try harder! I’m yours! He doesn’t matter anymore! He doesn’t even love me and you do! Please!”

He pulled me back into a hug. “Sh, sh, sh. I know you love me, but I’m doing this for you. I know you’re too worried about hurting me to follow your own desires. This way, you’re not hurting me. You can be with him. And I know for a fact that he does love you.”

I pulled back and wiped my eyes. “Harry-”

“Sh. I know. Go to him.”

“What?”

“Go to him. Right now! You need to let him know you love him before he makes a huge mistake and marries Eleanor.”

I hesitated half a second. “Oh, Harry! Thank you!” I placed my hands on his cheeks and kissed him hard. Then I jumped off the couch and ran to the front door and left, not even bothering to grab my shoes.