TW: Suicide and thoughts of self harm
Ennoshita woke up the next day and felt tired. He didn't sleep too well last night and wasn't in the best of moods. He walked downstairs and his family looked somber at the kitchen table.
"Hey guys what's up?" The teen boy asked.
"sit down here because it's bad news"
He was confused and scared at the same time but made his way and sat down at the end of the table.
"You see, you know your cousin Miyu, she took her own life last night and was discovered this morning when it was too late"
Ennoshita sat still and in shock. He felt his chest tighten as he forgot how to breathe.
Miyu, his favourite older cousin who was a third year at tokonami had passed. She was the only other lgbtq+ family member he had and she was always there for him when he was sad or questioning his own life. She had stopped him from doing it himself when he was at his lowest. And now she was gone. He never got to hear her voice again and her words of encouragement. The joys they had as they raced along rainbow road or making fires in the woods late at night. Gone.
Tears welled up in his eyes as he made his way up the stairs and into his room again. Over to his right was a picture of him and her at the amusement park on the big rollercoaster. Him almost blacking out and her screaming for her life. He remembered that day fondly and was one of the best he'd ever had. Now all the talks with her were just memories. He lay on his bed and cried. All water in his system just pouring like a hurricane onto his mattress. Once the water stopped flowing he just stayed there feeling empty. He head his friends come up to his window and shout out to him.
He didn't want to see anyone though. He grabbed his whiteboard and just wrote down that he wasn't well today and they seemed to be happy with that and told him to be ok. But he couldn't. Empty. That's all he was. Empty.
That was how he stayed all day. Only having the odd glass of water and no food whatsoever.he looked around at the mess he made. He had had a fit of pure rage and destroyed some things. He thrown one of the cups in his room across it and it shattered. He walked over to the bathroom to throw up. He felt sick and wanted to be empty. As he was leaving he looked over and saw them.
The razors.
He had sworn to himself and to miyu that he wouldn't self harm again. On their lives. But now that hers was gone. Is it still there. He picked them up and brought them to his room. He pulled one out and analysed it. He brought it close to his skin and went to. But he couldn't. He just couldn't do it. This wasn't what she would have wanted him to do. He realised to himself that he needed help and someone to talk to.
He made his way to his laptop and opened up discord. He scrolled through his friends until he saw one that he deemed fit.
KinoSHITa: Online
Listening to Spotify
He dragged his mouse over to the call button and debated for a while before clicking on it.
(A/N italics will be Kino and normal text will be Enno)
Hey Enno! Why'd you call?
I-I- I need help
Okay well let's talk about this then. You sound upset, do you want to explain?
Um.. yes
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The brown haired boy spilt out everything. From the self harm to the suicide to all the anxiety he had bottled up. This went on for about 15 minutes before he stopped and took a deep breath.
"Okay wow that was a lot. Let's go through this slowly"
They stayed on call for another hour. Just taking through everything and how to feel better. In the end the rest of the second years joined the call and there's him support through this. They agreed to stop by his house before and after school to have a chat and drop by some treats for him and to make sure he was eating.
Once he got off the call, ennoshita sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. He could get over this and do it. Do it for her.
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Word count: 803
Holy FUCK did this get so angsty. Sorry for all this. I feel a bit bad coming back from a hiatus to write something very angsty but I promise I'll make it better soon. Also I won't be updating as frequently as I did but I'm going to start doing it more. Cya guys.
