Dragon Age x Reader (Oneshots)

Breaking a Few Eggs (Iron Bull x Reader)

Being Inquisitor was a gateway to all sorts of trouble that hither to you would never have gotten yourself tangled up in. Ever. You were sure of that. Not to say you were above mischief it's just your style was more punching the occasional bandit in the face; not dragonslaying.

Your history knowledge could do with some more research if you were being honest but as you understood it the previous Inquisitor had taken to hunting dragons as a hobby. You had to assume that people were just crazier eight ages ago because there was no way you would choose to fight a massive eighty foot fire breathing lizard on a whim.

The fact was staring the scalekin down had near given you a heart attack. The smoke clogged your lungs, flame so close to cooking the meat of your flesh down to the bone. Had the thing not been eating villages you would never gave picked a fight with it. It was all very, very scary but maybe you were too sane.

Iron Bull had very eagerly enjoyed the encounter. Although he was not someone you would have pegged, initially, as someone you would like. Qunari made you wary, you had heard about what they did to their own mages and chains were just not your style.

In spite of that initial misgiving it became very clear very quickly that the Bull was in fact a softy. Oh, he might try and play the scary mercenary Captain but it was unendingly clear how much he cared for them. His devotion to his men was one of the many qualities you admired in him and it made you feel confident to have him at your back.

At this exact moment however you might have preferred him at your front, your arms wrapped and occupied with carrying a hefty weight. Your 'loot' from the slain beast. You were sure Iron Bull would have no issue with carrying it but alas he had charged on ahead of you, leaving you trailing up back the entire return journey to Skyhold.

The mass half concealed in the bundled up mess of your coat was easily as heavy as carrying a person and the many steps up to Skyhold made your muscles burn in ways you didn't know they could burn. As you passed through the gates the usual utterances of 'your worship' as you passed were accompanied by whimsical looks.

Your intention was to return immediately to your quarters but it was not to be. You had barely gotten up the first flight of steps towards the keep when a certain someone, who would have been much more helpful earlier, reappeared.

"Boss, there you are. Come drink with me! We have something to celebrate after all," Maybe that eyepatch of his was a real hinderance because it seemed like he hadn't noticed you were currently fighting against the capacity of your own lungs to breath.

"W-Wai..." You couldn't even struggle out a plea for him to give you a moment before he had slapped an arm around your shoulders and was pulling you into the tavern. Clearly the excitement had not yet worn off for him. So before you know it you're stuck in front of the bar, being drowned in some thoroughly foul tasting alcohol and looking eight months pregnant with your wrapped up treasure pressed flush to your stomach.

Your head was dizzied as you tried to keep up with the conversation but a lot of it flew passed you, only able to give a slightly tipsy toast to "picking fights with the biggest baddest things and showing them we're badder!"

Luckily for you even if Bull was revelling in the adrenaline Krem had your back, as he slid into the on the opposite side of you. "Chief. Your Worship... What's with the coat?" He asked, much to your relief to finally focus again on the very thing you'd spent so much time transporting.

This was the exact moment Bull in turn picked up on it as he put down his tankard. Or at least this was when he clocked on to having overlooked your odd behaviour. "You been carry that all the way from the Hinterlands?"

You nod vigorously in response. "I did. Not that you were much help in doing so. My arms feel like they're on fire."

"You sure that's not just because of the dragon?" Bull asks you almost skeptically but you're sure it's not. The dragon hurt so much less.

"Prepare to be amazed gentlemen," You announce with a grin before peeling away a portion of your coat to reveal your coveted prize. Inside, snuggled away in the leather and cloth was a real genuine dragon egg freshly taken from the nest and hauled all the way from the Bloodcliffs.

Krem would whistle lowly, nodding while Bull seemed slightly more confused by your choice. "You brought an egg?"

"I brought an egg," You agree as you cover it back up for warm, swaddling it like a baby.

"Why? A tooth or part of the horn would make a better trophy," He asks, half gesturing to his own horns as he did so but that was not why you had brought the egg.

"Why would I want a tooth it I could have my own genuine dragon? I was considering a Mabari but I think this is better," You say, patting the egg bundle like one would a puppy.

"It's not going to hatch," Iron Bull half laughs at the notion as he speaks.

"And why not?" You demand. To your surprise, Krem seems with you on this one.

"Yeah, why not chief?" He seconds you.

"Because... Because it's an egg and eggs need to be incubated. I don't know, ask Solas, he's the expert,"
Childishly you and Krem giggle and whisper 'eggspert' at each other. Bull seems torn between laughing at you both or sighing. "Point is it ain't going to hatch boss."

"We'll see," You reply wistfully as you get to your feet. With your egg carefully held against your torso you turn to make your exit towards your quarters. "When it hatches you own me five gold coins."

"You're on," Bull agrees, his tankard hitting the bar counter as he finished another round. You smirked devilishly as you left. Unbeknownst to you as you walked away a small portion of the egg came uncovered as your cost fell away. Just enough for Iron Bull and Krem to witness the emergence of a tail and collectively choke on their drinks.