freshmen again

⋆three⋆

"looks like we don't have anything together, but let's meet up for lunch later, okay?" mark asked as he handed me back my schedule.

i nodded eagerly. "of course! i want to catch up. here, type your number into my phone."

he took my phone from my hands and did so, saving his name as "mork lee :)".

i chuckled as i took it back from him. "fun name."

he winked, "of course, you know me. i gotta bounce, i'm gonna be late, but text me about lunch, okay?"

i nodded and he quickly left, sprinting towards a building across the way. i looked back at my schedule, remembering i had no idea where anything was. at least i didn't have class for another hour or so.

i walked along the campus, taking in the beauty of the old buildings, surrounded by the incoming fall. the leaves crunched underneath my feet as i walked up the path to an on-campus cafe. i slipped through the door, greeted with the strong scent of coffee and sound of light jazz.

i approached the counter, ordering a small coffee to get me through the morning as well as a bagel for a snack. i got my food and took a seat near one of the tinted windows, deciding to rest here until my next class.

i pulled out my sketchbook and flipped to a random page, just wanting to get some doodles out. i took a sip of my coffee, stretched out my fingers, and picked up my pen, starting to sketch some eyes.

they were sad.

i didn't mean for them to be, but you could tell that even the drawing held an ounce of sadness in its eyes. beautiful, but sad.

i began sketching another pair of eyes, when a group of people entered, ruining the quiet atmosphere. i shook off the loudness and returned to my drawings, attempting to give it a different emotion.

"oppa! you promised you would buy for me!"

i froze in my drawing. i could recognize that voice anywhere. and if she was here, he was too.

"ok, eunha. damn, i'm gonna go broke because of you."

i swallowed the lump in my throat, not wanting to turn around. i already knew it was them. i tried my best to block out their voices and return to sketching.

"go find us a seat. i'll order," he said. his voice hadn't changed a bit.

"alright, babes. you know my usual," she replied. then i heard her move away, probably toward the other side of the cafe, which caused me to let out a small breath of relief.

i returned to my sketching, thinking they hadn't noticed me. my eyes were angry this time, but they still held a small bit of sadness, maybe regret. i pitied them.

"you still draw."

i jumped, unaware of the stranger standing over me. looking up, i realized he wasn't a stranger at all.

"yeah," was all i could manage. the lump in my throat grew even bigger and i struggled to look at him.

"it's...it's been a while."

i glanced nervously to the side, nodding.

"i kind of thought you were never coming back," he chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"college here is great. i missed home. now, here i am," i responded, closing my sketchbook and placing it back in my bag.

"yeri, i-"

"sorry, i have to go," i quickly interrupted, standing up. "if you'll excuse me."

i rushed out of there as quickly as i could. i kept walking, unaware of where i was heading, i just needed to get out of there. i couldn't deal with him. even after four years, i'm not strong enough to talk with him.

i walked into one of the libraries available on campus and searched for a study table in the back, slumping down in it as soon as my backpack touched the ground. i buried my head in my arms and let out a shaky sigh. 

i didn't know if i would be able to do this with him around me.