If You Were Gone

If You Were Gone (4)

Chapter 4

   "Now," The old man announced after everyone opened their eyes. "I'd like everyone to turn their attention to the screen." He raised his hand up to point to the roof where a screen was sliding out into place. "It is time for a short presentation that Mariah's sister, Clarissa, put together."

      The lights dimmed and everyone looked at the screen. Except I turned my attention to my older sister.

     "A presentation? Why didn't you tell me about this?" I whispered a bit hurt. "I would of wanted to help."

      "It was a surprise." She whispered back, her eyes on the screen.

     I could of argued with her about how it was selfish of her to not let me help make the slideshow. I could of yelled at her for putting together, what seemed like, Mariah's last memory all by herself.

      But I didn't.

      I turned my head to the screen and watched.

      A video of Mariah filled the screen. She was wearing a long black dress and her hair was in loose, messy curls. I remember that day. It was her first band concert. I spent hours trying to curl her hair for it to only fall out. I also remember running around the school in search of her missing flute, which she lost because she put it on the lobby floor when she went to the bathroom and some crazy flute-stealing weirdo took it. So we spent hours trying to find it.

      We never did.

      I had to help pay for new one.

      In the video, Mariah was walking out of the gym doors with a shy smile on her face. She was walking as fast as she could so she could get to her chair as quick as possible.

      Soon, after everyone was done filling into their correct spots. The band began to play. I remember being surprised as to how well they were and even more surprised as to how much I enjoyed myself listening to them play. Especially my little sister.

      By her eighth grade year, she had a solo in their performance. She also had first chair since the sixth grade.

      Then the picture faded out, only leaving the band music playing. Soon, more pictures filled the screen.

     A picture of Mariah, around 7, bundled up in a huge jacket, her round face was the only thing visible.

     A picture of Mariah, around 9, with a face full of cake, running after me.

     A picture of Mariah, around 9, on top of me, stuffing cake in my face as I had a huge grin on my face. Everyone in the crowd laughed.

      A picture of Mariah, around 6, in her blue soccer uniform. She was lining up to take a shot, her tongue sticking out the side.

      A picture of Mariah, from this year, she was dressed up in her Gryffindor cloak. She had her hand up in the air, waving around a stick thy she pulled off the tree. A smile crept across my face. 

      Then, a picture of all the kids. Me and Clarissa were sitting together on a bench. Daniel was in Clarissa's lap and Mariah head was right in between mine and Clarissa's. She had her arms hooked around ours, with her usual goofy smile on her face.

      I started crying.

      Really crying. Loud sobs escaped my mouth as tears flooded down my face. I got up, weaved my way out of the row and ran out of the main room an into the deserted lobby. I spotted a bench and took a seat on it.

     I don't know what got into me. I was handling myself so well, until that picture popped up. Seeing the four of us together. Its how its supposed to be and knowing that it's never going to be like that, is the hard part.

     I wanted to snap my fingers and have my sister back. I wanted to clap my hands and have a large 'Clock of Time' appear so I can rewind it to the day I didn't pick up my little sister. I wanted all of this to be a dream. I wanted to pinch myself to wake up from the horrible nightmare.

      But, I was stuck in my own personal hell that I built with my selfish acts and uncaring ways. I'm scum.

      Then I heard the door open.

      I wasn't surprised to see Clarissa walk through, turning her head in search of me. When she spotted me, she walked over and took a seat next to me.

      "Are you alright?" Her voice was soft and gentle.

       I nodded an wiped my eyes with my arm. "Yeah, I guess it was all just too much, you know?" I sniffed.

       "Yeah, I know what you mean. I broke down a couple of times when I was putting it together." Clarissa said.

      We fell silent. Not an awkward silence. One of those uncomfortable silence where you don't feel the necessity to start a conversation. The silence dragged on. We could hear the band music continuing to play from inside the main room.

     "I have been thinking," Clarissa said, breaking the silence. "About my baby."

     Looked over at Clarissa's' delicate face. She was looking down at her stomach. She is seven months pregnant. We still don't know the gender of the baby. Not because Clarissa wanted it to be a surprise. But she wanted it to be a surprise for us. She and Jessie both know the gender. What can I say, Clarissa likes her secrets.

      "What about the baby?" I asked looking at her very large belly.

      "I figured out what I want to name it." She said.

      "What?"

      "I'm going to call her, 'Mariah Plume Young'." She sighed. "I think Mariah would have wanted that."

      I did something that I didn't expect. I kind of half sobbed and half laugh. Te noise was completely weird and indescribable. When it came out, I immediately covered my mouth, in embarrassment. It felt good to laugh, though. Well, half laugh.

      "Why are you laughing?"

      I smiled and dropped my hand. "Because, I laughed when Mariah told me that she wanted to name her kid 'Plume' if she had a girl. I felt like I had to laugh here too."

      "Yeah, it was pretty funny when she told us about that. What was the name she picked out if she had a boy?" She asked.

       "Taquito." I laughed again. "I told her that I wouldn't let her do that to my nephew."

       Clarissa laughed. "Oh god, I always wondered what was going on in that head of hers."

      "Yeah, but I always loved that about her. She has a different way of thinking. I always wanted to see the world through Mariahs eyes." I said.

      "Yeah, we need more people like her."

       I shook my head. "No, we just need Mariah. That's all I want. If you give me that, I'll be happy."