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Potentially New Cover?
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(Let me know what you think of this potentially new cover, I felt like a change was needed. Do you like it yes or no?)
Yes yes yes I know , I haven't uploaded in a while. I've just been caught up with a lot of work and the lockdown in my country hasn't made my 1st semester easier and we are still wrapping up on assignments for semester 1 as we are doing semester 2 now.
So yup work just piled up. And now loadshedding is back into effect which is a pain in my a—-. So as I'm finishing my lectures I get hit with 2 hours of no power a day. Sometimes if they feel very generous I sit with 4hrs a day without power. So all my online assignments get pushed back a few. And I sometimes miss my online lectures and I have to scramble around to find out what I missed and when stuff is due.
I have been an emotional wreak for the past few days (don't worry I'm bit calmer now , best friend had to do damage control and calm me down from my anxiety attacks).
I was just upset that my laptop had to go in for repairs and then I get told that there is liquid damage, and that it's gonna cost be a ton to even attempt to fix it. But the thing is they can't guarantee that any data will be retrieved so I lost 4 years of photos and videos. But I know I take good care of my laptops and they never answer my emails when I have questions about the water damage only the huge ass bill and repeating what they say.
But I think what hurt the most was I lost majority of my photos and videos of my gran. My gran past away last year (2019) from stage 4 lung cancer and all my photos I had of her for 4 years are just gone. Just like that. And I feel guilty cause I didn't make the time to back it up. But I did back it up. It just can't be retrieved. So I'm just filled with a lot of regret and sadness , and I was beating myself up over it. So my mental health went to shit.
I know that I'll have the memories , but knowing I had them right there and I watch it slip away just like that. And sadly it brought back horrible memories , cause I literally had to watch my gran slowly slip away over the course of 2 years. All my pictures of trips we went on and my grans old house before we had to sadly sell.... Becasue of her declining health. My matric dance photos I had with her before she passed. I've just been a mess.
So I do apologize but updates may be very slow for everything in general from now on until I feel better. I may not even update at all for a while.
I just need to take some time and clear my head and try and move on from this situation. Cause I know I'm gonna have emotional breakdowns and I'm gonna be constantly thinking about it. Cause I do overthink about everything. And that's a curse when you want to forget something.
I'm sorry , but I do hope you understand and I hope you are all doing well and that you respect my decision.
