Sovereign (Silenced Part 2)

Part 31

Silas got called away somewhere around five am which was both a blessing and a curse. On one side I finally got to go to sleep but on the other I missed him almost as soon as he went through the door. We'd only been home for a few days and it seemed like the time we'd been able to spend together was never enough.

I couldn't sleep for more than a couple hours. It was only eight am when I finally gave up and got in the shower. After my shower everything seemed to feel pleasantly sore. It wasn't an unbearable pain like I remembered it being. Although that was probably due to the act it's self being less painful than I'd remembered it being. I'm sure the extra healing didn't hurt either.

I went down stairs to the medical wing. I wanted to check on Aaron again and then go visit Emily to make sure she was taking it easy. Matthew had her on bed rest and Silas and I had been running around so much I hadn't had a moment to go and visit her.

I wasn't completely surprised to find her sitting next to Aaron's bed when I went into the room. She looked up at me. Her eyes widened as if she'd just been caught but as soon as she realized it was me instead of Matthew her shoulders relaxed.

"Hey." She said with a soft smile.

~Hey. How's he doing?~ I asked moving closer. There were so many tubes and cords tied around him that an all too familiar nausea started to creep in and I had to look away.

"Sleeping in like a jackass." Emily grumbled. "Matthew said he's healed enough to wake up but has refused to do so."

Her irritation made me smile a little. I knew she was deflecting her pain and discomfort with anger toward Aaron. I was worried too, about all three of them. But Aaron was too strong to go anywhere now. He'd made it through the worst of his injuries so I had no doubt he would wake up. The real problem was making sure Emily didn't over due it and push herself into labor while she was waiting for him.

~How are you?~ I asked putting emphasis on the you so that she knew I wanted a real update and not that 'I'm ok' stuff she'd try to pull otherwise.

Emily sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.

"We are fine! I haven't had any cramps or bleeding since the raid and my stress levels down now that half my family isn't missing or dying." She said.

~I'm sorry.~ I said. The guilt of everything that had happened in the span of a week came down on me hard. I sank into the chair next to Emily and tried to push back the tears.

"This isn't on you. None of it." Emily said. But it was. I was the reason Aaron was like this. I was the reason Amelia was missing. I was the reason Quinn was dead. Suddenly I found myself wish I'd never come here in the first place. Maybe they'd all be ok if I hadn't.

"What these people are doing to you..." Emily shook her head. "That was always Aaron's biggest fear too. From the second he suspected we were mates he tried to shut me out LIKE A JACKASS..." She raised her voice and glared at his sleeping form for a minute.

"Because he was afraid that they'd... take me away from him like they did with you and Silas." Her hand drifted over her belly and her eyes clouded with tears. "God the way they just came in here and ripped you away from us...what if they do that again? What if they take our baby too?"

My eyes and chest flared with pain I couldn't suppress any longer. I understood Emily's fears because I knew the pain of having a child taken away. Amelia was still out there. We had narrowed down the territories of which she could be in. Silas was preparing to leave with Logan and a few others that would search the territories but there was no guarantee we would find her. We didn't even know what Devlin wanted with her. I refused to think that she might already be gone. I couldn't even imagine it. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and leaned forward to fight against the frustrated scream that threatened to rip out of my throat. I hated them so much for stealing her away from us.

"Oh god. I'm sorry Ry." Emily said.

She gripped one of my hands and squeezed. It was the best she could do with out hugging me and we both knew a hug would make things worse at the moment.

I clinched my teeth and closed my eyes. I forced myself to count and breath despite my fears and pain.

We would find her.

We would bring her home.

And we'd destroy anyone or anything that tried to stop us.

Including the damn council.

With one final deep breath I was able to sit up again. I shifted and hugged Emily. She need reassurance just as much as I did right now and there was one thing I could promise her.

~If anyone tries to take your baby I'll kill them myself.~

Emily laughed tearfully and nodded.

She pulled away with a sniffle, paused, and sniffed again. Her brow furrowed for a second and then her mouth dropped.

~What?~ I asked my eyes widening with concern.

"You stink!" She said and covered her nose.

~What?~ I asked again as I sniffed toward my shoulder. Even with my heightened senses I couldn't smell anything but the soap I'd used in the shower.

"You smell like sex!" She said.

I sniffed again and tried to ignore the fire creeping it's way up my face. I couldn't smell anything and I'd washed so carefully.

Emily's eyes widened impossibly more and she just stared at me for what felt like forever. I was sure my face would burst into flames any second.

"Holy shit!" She said and clasped her hand back over her mouth.

~It's not that big of a deal...~ I muttered rubbing at my forehead in an attempt to hide my cherry toned face.

"Not that big of a deal?! Are you kidding me?! Rylan..." Emily shook her head.

"You... you went through so much and then... now... Silas... and he's..." She wasn't making any sense so I was relieved that she stopped to gather her thoughts until she focused back on me and her cheeks had suddenly lost some of their color.

"Did you use protection?" She asked.

My brow furrowed for a moment while I tried to figure out what she was referring to. The realization of what she meant and that we hadn't made me feel a little dizzy.

~I can't...~ I said. I couldn't get pregnant. Not after everything that had happened. The surgery alone would've made it difficult if not impossible.

"That was before Silas marked you. What if the advanced healing healed more than you think. You've been bleeding almost normally since the surgery. That's basically a cycle. Ry..." She didn't say it and she didn't have to. Silas and I might have messed up big time.

~What do I do?~ I asked.

"What do you want to do?" Emily asked.

I shook my head and bit back another rush of tears.

~My body won't carry a baby.~ I tried to explain. ~Matthew and I have talked about it. With all the variables, even with Silas, there's maybe a 90 percent chance I'll miscarry again...~

Emily took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Doctors gave me an 80% chance for complications. We're still going strong." She patted her belly to emphasize her point.

I gulped and nodded. She was right. The numbers weren't 100 percent. There was still a chance and that was if I was even pregnant. I had Emily, I had Matthew, I even had a better mate than I would have ever dreamed of. The thought of giving Amelia a little brother or sister made my heart warm and then ache again. I couldn't possibly even think about having another baby when my first was still missing. I knew deep down it would never happen. I wasn't meant to have any other children in my life aside form Amelia and my nephew.

I took a deep breath and squeezed Emily's hand once before letting go.

~I have to go find Cassy. She said she wanted to talk about something important.~ I said.

Emily nodded with understanding. This was all too much to think about right now and there was no point in worrying over something that might never happen.