Sovereign (Silenced Part 2)

Part 2

I went over my training regimen several times on my way to Silas office. I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong. I followed all of the guidelines Aaron and I had discussed and Alex was there nearly every session so if I had done something wrong he would have told me.

I knocked on the office door but I couldn't make myself wait. What ever was going on I wanted to get this over with. Silas looked up from his desk. He didn't say anything about my sudden intrusion. He set his pen down and gestured for me to come in as he stood up.

I entered but I left the office door open just slightly. It felt like it would be too intimate for me to be alone with Silas in his office with the door shut again. I couldn't even look at his desk without picturing when he had put me on top of it.

"Thank you for coming." Silas said.

I nodded and focused on one of his book shelves. I couldn't read the titles this far away but it was better than looking at the desk or at him.

"How are you?" Silas asked.

'Fine.' I signed.

"Are you healing alright?" He asks.

I nodded.

"Rylan just because we can't be physically intimate doesn't mean we can't be friends." Silas sighed.

I nodded again.

"Please stop giving me this silent treatment. Tell me what you are thinking." He said.

'I'm thinking that I don't want to be your friend. I can't be your friend. I can't even look at your desk without thinking about...' I broke off shaking my head.

'If you called me into your office under the guise of official business to talk about friendship then you are abusing your power as an Alpha.' I signed and looked back at the book shelves.

"I didn't call you in to talk about friendship I just thought it might be an easier segue to discuss our co-parenting." Silas said.

I turned back to look at him. I knew that Silas was taking care of Amelia occasionally when I was in training or had an appointment with Matthew. I didn't know that he wanted to fully co-parent.

"The council put Amelia up for adoption a few weeks ago when you were still recovering. They still hadn't found anything about her biological parents." Silas said.

I gasped and raised my hands to sign but Silas held up his own.

"I have already taken care of it. I just need to know if you are interested in being Amelia's full-time parent. It's not fair to her, for her to get any more attached to you if you do not intend to remain a part of her life." Silas said.

'I can't adopt her. I'm not part of a pack. They won't let me.' I signed. My eyes burned with the realization that I might lose her.

"I have already taken care of the paperwork and adoption. As far as the council is concerned Amelia is my adopted daughter. You don't have to worry about that." Silas said.

'You adopted her?' I asked. I was surprised but not as much as I would have thought. Silas even had a baby walker behind his desk. He was a big part of Amelia's life now and he had taken care of her the most when I was recovering.

Silas nodded.

'What if I had said no?' I asked.

"I would have figured it out. I am capable of taking care of a baby and I know my family would help. I couldn't risk Amelia ending up in the wrong hands again. Besides I promised Samuel that she would be safe." Silas said.

I nodded.I was trying not to read to much into this. I couldn't think about any thing regarding Silas in depth r it would send back into a spiral of misery. 

"You haven't said yes yet." Silas pointed out.

'Yes. Of course. Thank you for... taking care of everything.' I signed.

"Of course." Silas said. He glanced at the clock on his desk. He was watching the time. We weren't allowed to be around each other, this close, for more than ten minutes at a time. He sighed. Our time was almost up.

"Was there... anything else?" I asked. I'd considered telling him what Matthew said about my healing or maybe forcing him to go past the ten minutes by discussing something important. I wanted to press the limits and see if it would have any effect on my hormones. I doubted that it would but I couldn't do that. Silas didn't want to push limits. He didn't want to risk anything.

Silas shook his head.

I nodded.

It was time to leave.

I didn't even bother saying a good bye as I walked out. It hurt too much to think about how it was always a goodbye. No more than ten minutes. No physical contact.

"Rylan..." Silas called after me.

I stopped and turned slightly to face him. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He closed it and shook his head. He didn't want to say a good bye either. I offered a small fake smile and then closed the door behind me.