The Real Life of Me

Chapter 5

Although I didn't sleep much I stayed up more then half the night thinking about everything.  The next day we were all down in our apartment and I stayed in my room. I felt safe in my room and I thought that was unbreakable.  I heard my door close so I dropped my Barbie and turned around. Mike was standing there standing infront of the door. "Wanna play a game?" he said with a smirk. "We can play with my barbies." I said hoping once again things were going back to normal. We always use to play Barbie together. "No, I have a better idea...let's play the choking game." Mike said in a quiet tone. I stood there for a second before I started backing away. He then walked towards me and picked me up by my throat. My vision was fading in and out as I tried to pry his huge hands off my throat but I was much to weak. I must have past out because the next thing I knew I was under my bed and when I looked at my clock two hours had pasted.  Quickly I ran to the bath room and examined my neck. It had a light colored brusie starting to form. The "choking game" happened any time he knew he wouldn't get caught. One day in the middle of January, Mike was following me around saying that he would tell my teacher things that weren't true. He said he wouldn't if I stayed with him all recesse so I did because I felt trapped. The blackmailing continued.  I never understood what I was doing wrong to deserve what was happening to me. All of this continued til November of grade three when we moved to Prince George B.C.  We moved into a bigger three bedroom apartment with two bathrooms. I felt like the new start would be good for me. A week later I started school at Hillside Valley Elementry. My school life was good.  I had almost ten different friends and they were great. In grade four I made more friends and school life was still good until christmas. On christmas eve our landlords had us evicted saying that my father had shot a gun at them when he didn't even own a gun. By this time Kevin's friend Mike had moved to Prince George and he took us in when we got evicted. He already had four other people living with him in his five bedroom home. We stayed in a tiny room in the basement. Marcus and I slept on a bunk and our parents slept on a queen size matress on the floor. All of our stuff was packed in Mikes barn so me and Marcus, who was seven now had to entertain our selves. I remember Laying in my bunk counting to eight hundred over and over again trying to sleep because it was better then getting yelled at or staring at the wall. Don't get me wrong we did have a computer in the room on the floor but us kids weren't allowed around it. Eventually they got a t.v in the room but we were very seldom allowed to watch it. In the beginning of March we moved to a fair sized condo with three bedrooms and  one and a half bathrooms.  I loved having my own space away from mom and Kevin because although Kevin is my father I never really liked him. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm rebelious or anything it's just he a bully to be blaint. He's verbily abusive to mom, Marcus and I. He's greedy and controlling. As kids we were never aloud to have junk food, pop, ice cream or any type of fast food. If my mom bought us anything we were grounded and she got yelled at. I always use to have nightmare about him. He made me scared to breath. Kevin never laid a hand on me or Marcus but I can't speak for my mother because to be honest I really don't know. He use to always have to leave town for a couple days for work because he worked out at the oil rigs. When he would leave my mom would gather up any money she had seceretly save and she would buy us a bar or some small thing we wanted from the grocery store. Kevin would always go out to supper with his friends and tip the waitresses a minimum of a thousand dollars. It sounds unreal I know but my mother witnessed it first hand one of the only times it was convenient for him to have her with him. He makes me sick. We spent about five months in the condo before we had to move again. We moved to a huge sub devision were we rented a small house with three bedrooms. It had a huge backyard which for kids was like being rich. We had never really had a yard so it was new and amazing to us. It was covered in gravel and was fenced in.  Kevin started a garden which ment we weren't really allowed to play back there even though his garden cover less the a twelvth of it.  We also were not allowed in the tiny front yard because Kevin was obsessed with his grass. If we even just accidently dropped a pencil on the grass we would get screeched at. We had to stay on the path and in the winter time we counldn't go out in the yard to play. One time my brother started jumpiing off of the ledge in the kitchen on to the couch in our liing room. I had a hard time watching him because I myself was only nine. It was completely normal for us to be alone for the whole day. Mom had to work because Kevin was greedy with his money.  So while they were working I had to watch Marcus who was just six.  The days for me were long. I went to school then we got the bus home and then I watched Marcus until seven when mom got home from the Holiday- Inn.  I was rarly allowed to do anything because I was either busy with my work load or I was just to exhausted. We lived there for the rest of grade four and just before grade five we moved around the corner to a small rental house that the company just throws together.  Marcus and I had to sleep in the basement and when we had to go to bed the lights all went out. It didn't matter how afraid we were because he didn't care. We didn't really get to live there long because our power got shut off and once again Mike took us in. This time we each had our own bedroom because his dad was the only one living with him.  By this time it was april and I was more home sick then I had ever been. I was being bullied by people I trusted and had thought were my friends. It started one day at ressece. I was sitting with a few of my friends when Jordan came running over from some of my other friends "Shelby said to tell you that everyone only pretends to be friends with you because your poor.". I was stunned at what I was hearing. "Why would she say that?" I said trying not to show how hurt I was. Soon she was saying even worse things about me and too me. All of my friends except Ally had just turned on me and their only explaination was "We knew shelby longer." when she only moved here a year before me.