Only Alone

Blue Bench

          The skies are dark with only the moon shining bright as the stars twinkle lightly. I sit here on this cold blue bench looking at my life. What has happen to me? I use to be that person who always had a smile on her face, that person who would brighten up everyone's day, the one who anyone can talk to and feel comfortable around.

            Now? I'm that person who smiles whenever someone is watching me a little to closely, doesnt bother to worry about others because they probably don't even care about me, the person who just stares blankly at the world and wonders what has happen to me?

         It's a chilly November night and like always I walked to the park alone and stare blankly at the night sky. Have you ever felt numb to feelings? As in you can't feel anything, not happiness, not sadness and not anger..

         I always feel numb when I sit here on this blue bench. I only ever remember once crying on this bench and it happened so long ago.

         A year ago I would have never imagined I would be sneaking out of the house just to sit on a crapy old bench at the park alone. I guess I caused so much pain that it back fired and now that its all over I feel numb to everything.

         Why did she have to leave this world? She left me in it alone with no one else but the words that keep appearing in my mind. Why couldn't I leave with her...