Dear Gamer-boy,
Remember the little girl I mentioned in the last letter, Well I know this is crazy but I gave her a name. I call her Heiress Eden or Essie for short. I know that I'm crazy but believing in her makes me feel happy.
If this makes you feel uncomfortable, you can stop reading, I won't judge you. I know that I'm weird and I'm not scared so that's why I'm writing this. People change and I want you to see who I am. I was a naive teen when you left and now, I'm confident in my weirdness. I don't know how you've changed because we lost contact but I hope you're still a kind soul. I know that I can't expect you to be the same, but it all comes back to my fear of losing people.
I have a friend who's a soldier and the thought of him dying breaks my heart. One day, it hit me. It took exactly 13 seconds before i was full on crying and eating ice cream. He is such a nice person and it's scary that this is reality. Before you ask, I'm not in love with him. He rejected me and we became friends. It was the first time that a crush didn't end up making things weird. I hope you can meet him someday. You have a few things in common with each other. Maybe you'll both be guests at my wedding, if I make it that far. If I die before then, I guess you'll meet at my funeral. That would be awkward, but like I said before, life isn't fair.
Years ago, I believed we had a connection, but now I'm moving on. We could've stayed in touch, but things would have been different. I am happy with my new friends.We know the meaning of togetherness. There's a reason that you moved away from me. I won't blame you if you found someone else that makes you happy. Even if you completely forgot about your promise to come back. Go live your life. Sometimes I go through our middle school yearbook and remember the little moments that we had. We were just kids at the time so we didn't see how complex this could get.
I never planned to get so wrapped up in anime that I forgot about you. It's like I was put under a spell and one day I just woke up and remembered everything. Maybe It's because I finally needed to deal with this. I can understand now that you maybe gone for good. It's weird how I tried so hard to believe you were my soulmate, Ignoring the fact that you could easily move on.
I'm saying that i'm taking time to figure me out, I might not look back. Maybe you're sitting around, talking to your wife, and me writing this is completely pointless but currently, I don't care. This isn't about you it's about me. I don't know how you feel about me or if you even remember. I only know how I feel and that's our reality.
I can only understand love when it isn't about me. I helped my friend start her relationship and it felt amazing. They have that real soulmate vibe when they're around each other. It's adorable because he makes her happy and he's so good for her. Watching them distracts me from my mission of finding the one. At least until I get home. Once i'm asleep, It's off to fantasy land.
My dreams are complicated by themselves, but it's the fantasies before the dreams that define my weirdness. I love to fantasize about.. well, seeing Essie. If you don't think I'm completely insane, Maybe there's a chance that we can be friends again. I'm not saying that I changed my mind, I'm saying that if you came back and passed my test then, we could be something. I'm not giving up on you, nor am I just gonna wait. I'm not 7 or 14 anymore so I don't think that you're gonna be my perfect prince charming and we'll live happily ever after.
xoxo, Mysterygirl
YOU ARE READING
Dear Gamer boy
RomanceI thought you were my soulmate, but you never came back. If i die before we get the chance to speak again, read this and you'll know how I feel and what I've been Upto.
