Lying at its Worst; Love at its Best

Ch 1: TACOOSS!

***EDITED***

Look lets just get this out of the way already.

I don't want to lie to you. I'm tired of lying. So here's the truth.

My name is Sydney. I am sixteen years old. I go to Jackson Senior High school. I am a junior. I have a compulsive lying disorder. I have lied at least once to everyone I have or do love. I now go to therapy and support group for my disorder.

I honestly hate that word.

Disorder.

It makes me feel like I'm different. And not in the good way. I'm a mistake.

Literally. I was conceived on prom night.

Gross.

Anyway, I don't really have that many friends. My cousins like to come over and talk to me every once and a while so I don't feel lonely. They think I don't know but I'm not as dumb as they take me for.

Plus it's kind of obvious they don't like you when they treat you like you're five even though you're as old as them.

Right now, I'm in my room blasting my music in my headphones. Sometimes I feel like it's my only escape from the world. I'm jamming out to Sleeping With Sirens whilst drooling over Kellin Quinn.

He's hot.

I should be doing my math that's due next Tuesday, but I'm really not in the mood. I'm ahead in it anyway.

So instead I get up off my queen size bed and groggily make my way to my bathroom. Yes, my parents gave me the best room in the house only because I usually stay in my room more then they do. Because, again, I have no friends.

Before I make it to the beautiful white tiled bathroom, I trip on my pile of clothes and end up falling on my face onto my soft black carpet. After groaning, stretching, and stripping, I finally make my way into the shower.

Once I get out, I wrap a blue towel around my self and tie my long brown hair up into a messy bun. I grab my nerd framed glasses and walk into my empty-feeling room.

I get to my walk-in closet and ponder on what to wear. Since I don't know if I'm going anywhere today, but I'm still tired, I end up picking my huge purple "You Can't Sit With Us" sweater. I pull on a pair of leggings and my white fluffy boots to top it off.

It's one of my favorite outfits. Ah, how I love Mean Girls. It's hilarious.

I get on my phone to see what's going on with everyone at school. Not that they care if I know anyway. I start to frown but refuse to be sad at the fact that I'm an outcast. I like being by myself sometimes. Besides, it's not like anyone at the school is worth my time. All they do is torture me mentally and physically. They're mostly idiotic bitches anyway.

And just like Mean Girls, they move in a pack.

I shake my head trying to get the thoughts of bimbo nincompoops out of my brain. Not soon after, dad yells "Syd! Time for dinner!"

I jump off my bed and sprint down the hallway. Taking the steps two at a time, I make my way down the stairs and hop onto the stool right in front of the bar in our kitchen. Just as my dad started laughing, my stomach grumbles. I'm starving. "What're we having tonight?"

He looks at me a sings "TACOOOSSS!"

I laugh and start to make my plate.

Once I find my way out of the kitchen and into the elegant dinning room, I sit down. I start devouring my taco when I hear my dad clear his throat.

I look up to see my father staring at me. His worry lines are very visible along with the pain in his eyes. This makes my heart clench. Did I do something? I send him a worried look and in return he just shakes his head looks at my mom. I stare at her. She too has worry lines showing, but no where near as bad as my dad. She's younger than him by 7 years and it shows. Her eyes are more aligned with worry and something else I can't decipher. Anger, maybe?

I start to choke on my taco because I feel the tension in the air and it's hard to breathe. I feel nervous. I wipe my sweaty hands on my leggings and find it harder to stare at one specific thing at a time. My heartbeat picks up and I finally swallow my bite of Mexican food.

"I-Uh, are you guys oh-okay?" I manage to squeak out after some awkward silence.

My mom takes a deep breath and places her napkin in her lap after wiping her face. "Sydney, honey, we think you've gotten worse with your lying ever since school started." She looks me straight in the eyes as my dad does the opposite, looking everywhere but me.

I couldn't believe what I'm hearing, what do I have to do now? I mean I'm going through a lot already. Therapy. Support Group. Medication. Doctors. What else?

Mom sighs but goes on, "That's why we want you to start going to support group 5 days a week and see your therapist on the weekends." They both look worried to see my reaction, mostly my father more than my mother.

I couldn't breathe. I started freaking out. They were practically doubling the time of my support group gatherings and therapist appointments. This is why I stay in my room all the time, so I don't have to deal with people, not even my parents, and especially not anyone at school or the neighbors.

Before I knew it I was up the stairs and pacing my room. I hear a faint banging sound, most likely mom knocking on my door. Too bad I can't feel any of my limbs to walk over there and answer. I started to shake and before I could even process it, I run over to my bed, pulling out my guitar and start singing.

Could you check my pulse for me
To see if I'm alive
Cause every time that I am near you
Is the only time I feel alright
If there were any way
I could think to turn back time
I'd stay here with you
Sometimes I sit and wonder
Sometimes I feel like letting go
All I know is no one should have to be alone

God dammit. I thought I was getting better. I tried my hardest to not lie.

I don't want to be alone
I don't want to die alone
I could fall apart here and now
I don't want to die alone
I want to be with you, you, you
I only want to be with you, you, you

I tried my hardest to be happy. Why can't I do this? Why aren't I normal?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Notes:

Hai guiz this is my first story on wattpad so far.

I hope you like it!

I'm sorray it's short.

Btw the picture at the beginning is Sydney (Selena Gomez).

If you have any ideas comment on this.

Thanks for reading!

See ya next time :3

xo- Thor💘