POV- You work at Subway and an unexpected customer appears with a strange request.
It was your 4th night shift in a row after your co-worker was hit by a bus and promoted to district manager. "Ugh if I have to spend one more night serving a bunch of junkies cheese and beetroot on toast I'm going to crash my Hylux into that makeshift church dad installed in the kitchen." You sighed repeatedly knocking your head against the oven door. In the reflection of the oven you saw the store doors open and an unusually tall figure walk through. You put your gloves back on and began preparing a cheese and beetroot toast, until you glanced up and locked eyes with the most attractive man you had ever seen. "Are you a toilet seat, because I want to lick you until your out of commission." You smiled, until you realised that your dumbass spat every single word out of your mouth. "Oh- I'm so sorry sir. Please I swear I'm not on anything, wanna taste my breath to check." Ugh I did it again! Stop saying this weird crap to a complete stranger, he might ask me who my dealer is! I can't just expose father Jimmy like that- I'll get sent straight to hell! In this crisis you were facing, you realised the man had disap- Wait no never mind he was staring fondly at the vending machine. "Damn, what does that vending machine have that I don't?" Once again, you said this out loud as well. The man, with a stern expression approached you, nothing in hand and asked "Do you have any cutlery?" It was until this moment you realised he was wearing AirPods and couldn't hear your mentally disturbing comments. "Of course you sexy beast" you said picking up a plastic fork and shoving it in your eye, ending your internal suffering. Before the fork made contact with your eye ball, it suddenly disappeared which resulted in you punching your own face and falling into the trash. This was the most humiliating thing that had happened to you, apart from the time you accidentally sent nose hair pics as supporting evidence to your court case on why sewer workers are a religion. Surprisingly, he was able to hop over the ten foot barrier installed to keep pests like 62 year old Garry away from the soft drink dispensers. "Give me your hand, sweetheart." He said fishing you out of the bin. You were covered in ranch dressing and a six month old cancerous tuna fish, smelling worse than that one dentist who asked if you wanted starbursts with your $4000 worth of dentures. "Sir I smell like shit you'll get photosynthesised" you pleaded. He had NosePods on so he couldn't smell you, thankfully. He picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the store into his van. You blinked and you were tied up, surrounded by the entire stores stock of plastic cutlery. "How fascinating, it usually takes a bit of small talk to get them in the van however you were addicted till the moment we locked eyes. Hmm, I think I might keep this one." The man hummed. You couldn't tell who the hell he was talking to, but you didn't care. His voice was too sexy. "The names Dio by the way." He said pulling out of the car park and onto the main road. This gave you road trip vibes from when you and your family went on vacation and dropped your brother off at the petting zoo. Good times. You fell asleep for the duration of the car ride, dreaming of Dio. You woke outside Walmart, where there was nobody but yourself in the van. "Oh... Oh god... Did I dream about getting kidnapped by the hottest man ever?? Is my captor actually some old marriage counsler? Did I do drugs??" "No, sweetheart. Although I would recommend keeping quiet." Dio smiled suddenly appearing in the car. Frikn dumbass why do I keep doing this. He placed a bag next to him and drove to a ghetto apartment block where he casually transported you and 2 tones worth of subway forks into a room. He gently placed you on the kitchen bench top and was suddenly holding the bag he got from Walmart. "For you" He said handing you a bucket hat and ukulele. You shed a tear. No one had ever got you such thoughtful gifts. Once you put on the new gifts, you were forcibly pinned to the ground by Dio. "Now, it is time for the sacrifice" he smirked leaning to kiss you. "Ey get that fairy Bruce" Dio leaned over to kiss you when a man travelling the speed of a bullet plunged through your bucket hat and launched you out the ten story high building. Dio ended up kissing the wrong thing and Diavolo died from diobetes. "Ey did you see some pink haired stripper punk run away like a little girl?" Two men asked holding flamethrowers. "You... I wasted the last of my diobetes on your damn dog!!" Dio cried tossing Diavolo back at the men. They ripped him apart and stored his internal organs in a mini fridge they were wheeling around. "Now this might be enough to pay the rent" They sighed scurrying away. Dio walked over to the window in tears, watching your lifeless body twitch under two and a half feet of woman's health magazines. "My poor little stinco d'agnello, you deserved a better fate, a fate in which I, Dio was going to grant you." Dio sighed putting his AirPods back on. "Oh shit the manager has a gun" You panicked sprinting back to Subway.
Diavolo died so it's canon.
