what are you doing, Step Dream? (dream x reader)

[five] step

"Step off, dude, I'm trying to get this iron!"

You'd just gotten off of an especially awkward Zoom call and you were cruising for a bruising, so you had decided to crash Clay's Dream SMP stream and wreak some havoc.

Luckily, you had a frog for the occasion. It was a cheap plastic spring toy you'd won at an arcade, and now you were on Clay's bed trying to make it hop onto his desk.

Unfortunately, it kept landing on him instead.

Boing. The frog landed in his hood.

Clay groaned theatrically and tossed it back to you with his left hand. "STOP."  You stifled a snort.

"Dream, who are you talking to," George's voice said from Clay's speakers.

"No one."

Boing. Oop. That one went in his lap. Yikes. Dream let out another noise of frustration and threw it back violently, narrowly missing your face.

Holy hell. You were going to die of laugh suppression. Why your dear old step-bro hadn't kicked you out by now, you had no clue.

But this was the one, it had to be. You were going to land this damn frog on his desk.

Ready. Aim. FIRE.

The green plastic frog soared through the air with a slow motion boing and landed squarely on Clay's head.

Clay's hair parted a little bit to accommodate for it, making a nice dirty blonde nest for the Frog.

He didn't even notice. That did you in.

"HGGGgHhhhh," you wheezed, and Clay finally turned to look at you, knocking the frog off his head in the process. Meanwhile, the chat was going at the speed of light, and you could barely read 'WHAT' and 'WHAT WAS THAT NOISE' through your tears.

"Bro, Dream, what is going on? What the hell was that?" Sapnap said, laughing.

Clay was staring at you with the most unimpressed expression he could muster, but his mouth was twitching. "That," your step-bro stated, turning slowly back to face his monitors, "was my cat."

What.

"BULLshit." crowed Sapnap. "That sounded like - like a DYING SEAL."

"Yeah, there's no way that was a cat," said George.

This wasn't helping your laughing fit, nor did it make any sense. Why didn't he just say it was his step-sister? Whatever. Clay was laughing too now, his always-nice-to-listen-to laugh.

You considered this a massive success.

-------------

The mood had died down, the stream had ended, and you were hanging out on Clay's bed again, scrolling through your phone.

"Meow," you said suddenly.

Clay was editing a Manhunt video. He stopped typing. "What."

"I'm a cat, remember? Meow. Meow."

"You are crazy," said your step-bro, shaking his head.

You both lapsed back into silence, one only broken by the sound of Clay clicking away in Final Cut.

"By the way," he started, clearing his throat, "my fanbase doesn't know you exist. At least, not as my step-sister."

That made you look up from Instagram. "Oh. I mean, that's probably good, right?" You were fine with not existing in the Dreamy public eye. It sounded like a lot of stress, anyway.

No, wait a second.

"What do you mean, not as my step-sister? So they DO know I exist?"

"I mean, you, like, died audibly on stream. I acknowledge my faults - I was kinda talking to you - but yeah. They know." Though he wasn't facing you, Clay still managed to look a little uncomfortable. "They're theorizing on who you are. My fanbase, I mean."

"Theorizing? Ha," you snorted. How much theorizing could they do based on plastic frog shenanigans and one inhuman sound? "Where's this happening? Where's your fanbase even located?"

"Uh, Twitter, I guess?"

You switched apps.

Sure enough, when you typed Dream in the search bar, That's my cat turned up.

Oh. Well then. You read the tweets under the topic with a feeling of surreal amusement.

ppl rlly be saying dreams got a secret gf... excuse me while i CRY
>> Theory: Dream's "cat" isn't really his cat. It's his girlfriend. Explains the way he was acting late stream she was probably teasing him? He doesnt want to go public so he just lied

lmaoo he s tryna make excUSES

heart❤️been🤛broke💔so many times⏱

NOOO WHAT ABOUT GOGY 🥺😭

Forget girlfriend, he kidnapped someone and kicked em in the stomach thats the only way you could produce that sound

im out of the loop what's going on with Dream and his cat???
> On dream's smp stream today he was talking to someone and when people asked who it was he said it was his cat LMAO
> FUCKIGN LIAR ///

"Uh, Clay?" You said, not looking up from the many, many Twitter threads. For some reason, you couldn't stop reading them.

"Yes."

"There's a very easy solution to this."

"What."

"Just... tell them I'm your sister and I was throwing frogs at you."

Clay's clicking stopped.

"Nope. Not gonna do that."

You were at a loss for words. "Wh-why not?"

"Don't want to."

What an absolute weirdo. You scrolled through a few more posts theorizing on Dream's Secret Girlfriend and felt yourself smile a little.

Yep. You were one to talk.