Euphoria *Jacob Elordi*

5

Tay POV

I woke up to the harsh thunder and lightening. I leaned up on my elbow and reached over to grab my phone. 

I had text messages from Liliana, Mya, and Lacey, shockingly. I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed my clothes. I changed into them but kept on Jacob shirt. I grabbed my phone and went downstairs not seeing anyone. I grabbed my shoes and put them on and right when I was ready to turn the lock to open the door I heard footsteps. 

"Goodmorning to you too" 

I turned around and did a small smile. 

"Hi, I uh didn't know you were up," 

"Yea I'm always up early, I uh went to Dunkin and got some breakfast that's if you consider donuts breakfast" I let out a small chuckle, 

"What kind?" I let go of the lock and begin to take my shoes off, 

"Chocolate with sprinkles, Strawberry with sprinkles, and glazed" 

"That sounds good" I said as we walked back to the kitchen. I sat down in the stool at the island and he took the seat next to me. I opened the box and took out a chocolate donut. I bit into it and looked down at my phone scrolling on tiktok. 

I could feel Jacob small glances at me and when I would shift in my seat he would look elsewhere.

I locked my phone and looked at him, 

"What?" 

"Huh?" 

"hUh, why are you staring" 

"I'm sorry, I just keep thinking of yesterday are you ok?" 

"Well imagine being in the position, and I'm fine you don't have to keep looking at me like I'm a hurt puppy" I put the donut down on a piece of napkin, 

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way" 

"oh my goodness stop apologizing jacob" I scoffed and when he was about to say something I just shook my head, "I think that I'm going to go, thank you for allowing me to sleep in your bed and I'm grateful but I'ma just head out" 

I got up and walked out the kitchen before he could protest or apologize for anything. 

I don't like anyone to pity or feel sorry for me. Especially for situations that I've gotten myself into on my own. Nobody told me to follow Trevor in there or take drugs with him in that isolated environment even though I felt terrible about it. 

I took the bus back to my apartment. I walked all the way up the stairs to my apartment rather than the elevator. I needed some time by myself and my thoughts before I faced Mya. 

I knew what she was going to say and act like when I opened the door. 

When I made it outside my apartment I stood there for a good minute or two before building the courage to knock on the door. I fixed my clothing quickly to make it not look as bad as it was. 

When the door opened I saw her there looking more miserable than me. 

I saw her bloodshot eyes that were puffy from crying, the bags underneath them, the bed hair, her in the same clothing I saw her in before Liliana party, her hand gripping her phone tightly, and her desperate expression that changed to relieved to pissed. 

"I- I don't know what the fuck to say to you..." 

"How about 'hi' for starters" I joked to try and lift the mood. I instantly regretted that when my head jerked to the left and I felt the sting from her open hand slap. 

I deserved it. 

"Don't ever do anything like that again... don't ever scare me like that" Mya moved from the door disappearing behind it. I stood there a bit dumbfounded with my hand against the cheek she slapped me on. 

I swallowed the build of saliva in my mouth and blinked away the tears and tried to get rid of the knot in my throat. I walked in and closed the door, locking it behind me. I walked past the kitchen where Mya was bent over the island with her head in her hands. The empty bottle of vodka and the mason jar next to her. 

I walked into my room closing the door softly behind me. I kicked off my shoes before climbing into bed. I got under the blankets and tried to unravel my thoughts and feelings. 

I knew I wasn't happy but I wasn't particularly sad.

I was numb, numb to the events that took place yesterday ad numb to my feeling. I was numb to the truth or lie of Adrian cheating on me with my best friend. I wanted this feeling to go away, I wanted to be back to the person I was before the party. 

The one who didn't almost get raped. 

The one who didn't push away the only person that gave me an escape from that experience and got us donuts for breakfast the very next day. 

I heard my bedroom door open and close and seconds later I felt the heavy weight behind me. I instantly flinched when I felt an arm wrap around my waist. 

"It's me" Mya spoke and I relaxed my muscles underneath her presence. 

"...Trevor tried to ra-... he tried to..." The knot in my throat became more prominent as I felt my heart start racing. I felt nauseous and the room felt as if it were spinning, 

"Shhh I know, I'm going to make that son of a bitch pay... I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, to protect you" Mya hand smoothed over my curls that straightened as she dragged her hand across them and then bounced back. 

"I was so scared mya, I was high out of my mind.... I froze"

"You don't have to relive that to tell me, I know that feeling oh so well" I heard her try and speak past the hurt in her voice.

I grabbed her hand giving it a small squeeze as she did the same to mine. 

"We got each other" I spoke

"Promise me that" 

"I swear it"