The Royal Concubine (edited)

Chapter 5

        "Hye-Rin," King Min calls out to me.

        My eyes aim at the floor, but I cannot move. I can feel the king inch closer, slowly. I know this is not the respectable behavior a concubine is supposed to have towards her king. Nor is this the correct response a husband receives from his wife. However, I do not want to be a concubine or a wife, I want to be Moe Hye-Rin.

        King Min stops his advances, "Hye-Rin, we can prolong the consummation for a while longer if you wish." His voice is soft, almost endearing. "You have a choice."

        I do not have a choice. If I walk out of this room right now and do not perform my duties, I will be discarded immediately. Even if I trusted the king and taken this chance to run away, I will meet this fate eventually. That is because I am a woman in the Joseon Society of Korea.

        I am exhausted of holding back my true emotions, so abandoning my pride, I let the tears slide down my reddened cheeks. I hate seeming weak, especially in front of this man who is the definition of power. The silent tears turn into quiet sobs and King Min stands still in shock. I look up at him as I whimper, "Jeonha, please do not punish me." Now I begin to feel the effects of my childish actions. I fear the response I will get from the king.

        But the king just stares at me, letting all of my emotions flood the room. His gaze is not threatening, instead he is compassionate. My heart slowly starts to ease. Isn't it interesting that with one simple look my worries drain away? Why is it that people are so fickle that way? This makes me realize something. It does not matter what I must do, as long as I am able to reign over my emotions, I am able to reign over myself. Even if I give my body to the king, he will never have my heart. I will not allow King Min to sway me any longer. After a few minutes in silence, the tears dry and I collect myself once again.

        "Jeonha, please excuse my discourteous behavior just now. I appreciate your concern but I do not need it from here on. I will perform my duties tonight as a concubine of Korea." Although my honor has been damaged, I will not continue down that path. I need to turn off my emotions in order to perform my duties as a loyal subject.

        His eyes glisten at my obedience. His eyes search for mine and the confusion is clear. The king is unsure of his response, but finally sighs, "While I admire your dedication to your role, I think that's enough for tonight."

        My mouth gapes and I falter for a second. "I do not understand, Jeonha." I lurch forward, placing a hand on his forearm. I am dedicated to going through tonight. I cannot risk being a dissapointment, and survival is key.

        King Min roughly snatches my wrist, "No," he says stoically, "I am a king, not a monster."

        I am completely humiliated. Tugging myself out of his grasp, I flee the room, leaving behind a despondent King Min. But I do not consider his feelings in the slightest. Why should I? The king has proved that he does not truly care about mine. If he did, I would not feel so insulted. As I run past my worried palace maids, my eyes raise towards the clear black sky with millions of beautiful glowing stars. The light garments I am decorated in do not protect me from the biting, howling winds. White snow soaks into my shoes and dress; I hear the maids insist that I come back to the stone path. Ignoring them, I close my eyes and whisk myself away to a different world. The king is gone, the maids are gone, the palace is gone, and I am alone in a snow covered field.

        However, I am quickly pulled out of my dream by a strong hand. Her royel highness, the queen is the one who interrupted my pensiveness. I grimace at the queen for ruining my daydream, but her eyes are even fiercer, "How dare you disgrace yourself and Jeonha by acting so childish out in the snow."