Thinking Out Loud || #Wattys2015

34: Lost it all

Camila POV

Mr. Jauregui talked me into go back to school instead of waiting around to see Lauren all day. I finally agreed after hours of begging and tear, now here I was sitting in Chemistry bored out of my mind and wanting to know how Lauren was doing. Although something else that filled my mind was me and Chris's almost kiss. I can't believe I'd provoke him to fucking kiss me. I'm such an idiot. I don't want to avoid him considering we are both the only thing each others got right now considering our best friend is hospitalized, but I feel like we should talk it out. He reminds me of Lauren so much maybe that's why I felt the spark. In that moment of course. How the hell would Lauren feel if she knew I kissed her little brother. God, what the fuck...the bell rang pulling me from my thoughts. I walked out into the hall and sighed. Thank God it was lunch time. I made my way to lunch and smiled at the smell of Pizza.

"Pizza day huh?" I jumped at the voice. I turned around and met the forest green eyes.

"Yeah.. Pizza day. Chris can you not sneak up on me like that. It makes me jumpy and paranoid." I said looking at him and walking into the lunch line.

"Sorry, I...do you think things are awkward because.."

"No I don't Chris." I replied shaking my head.

"Yeah, yeah same I don't...I don't either." He grabbed a tray and got his pizza. This kid...wow. Total dork around girls, just like Lauren around me.

"Want to sit together? I mean I'm not saying we have to it's just I....don't know what I'm saying. God ok let me just cut to it. Yesterday...be honest...did you feel anything?" He asked searching my eyes.

"Would it be wierd if I said yes. Look its because you remind of Lauren. Chris, I hate to break it to you but me and you can just only be friends. Come one how would Lauren feel if she found out you robbed her craddle and took me from her." I said softly as we walked to a table.

"She'd probably hate me. Camila, I can't take you from Lauren. It's a brother sister code." Chris mumbled sighing.

"Why'd you sigh?" I asked biting into my pizza. I tried to swallow my moan because it was so good!

"I guess I kind of like you and I know that we can't be a thing. I guess it's because you're the first girl that hasn't treated me like shit because of Lauren." He confessed shrugging and looking away.

"What do you mean because of Lauren?"

"Well alot of people like Lauren because of her...you know dick. I've always been a second choice when it comes to girls Lauren hooked up with in the past or liked or what ever and then when they see my...dick, they compare and say I'm "too small" I mean so want Lauren is 7 1/2 inches. Im at least 6." Chris shrugged.

"Why compare whats in the pants? Shouldn't it matter about whats in here, and here?" I asked pointing to my chest and head. "I mean if I knew both of you before me and Lauren started dating, and I had to choose because of what I knew about you or how you acted I'd choose you because you weren't some player. Yeah you're popular because of Lauren and all but you're a sweet guy. I mean I brought all that out in Lauren. Yeah she has her anger problems and dumped me for it, technically me and Lauren aren't together right now, she never asked to take me back. At Ally's party she told everyone she loved me, made a big scene then told me to my face she couldn't be with me. I mean I guess when she chased after me and had her heart attack she was going to ask for me back but she didn't have the chance. She kept telling me to move on, and I just couldn't. I don't think I can." I sighed and looked down. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I looked up and tried blinking them away.

"Hey no...don't cry. Lauren's just confused. She doesn't know what she wants at times. Honestly try living with her for 16 years. You two will be fine. Trust me." Chris said looking at me.