No more masks: Pulling out your safety pin

I'm Sleepy

Authors Note: This is the early part of episode 16, where Moon Young is resting her head on Gang Tae's lap and our reconciled lovers are having a heart to heart. Many of us wondered how they went from the living room to the next morning in bed, with clothes strewn everywhere. Well, readers, you are about to find out.

Moon Young closed her eyes, loving the feeling of Gang Tae stroking her hair as she rested her head on his lap. The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions that left her utterly exhausted. Although Do Hui Jae was behind bars and their little family didn't need to worry about her ever again, Moon Young did not want to live the rest of her life worrying about what trauma Gang Tae was bottling up inside. The morning after the terrible incident with Do Hui Jae, Moon Young couldn't bear to look Gang Tae in the eye and see him desperately trying to mask his emotions.

Although she had said to him in the art library that she would no longer be curious about what was on his mind, it was a lie that she could not keep repeating. At that point in time she was desperate to keep him in her life, no matter what the cost. She didn't want him to get angry at her again, or worse, leave her, so she had resolved to stay quiet so that he would not push her away. But as days went by and she kept opening up to him and finding solace in his arms, she kept wishing that he would do the same with her. She wanted to be his rock, his support system, his safety pin too, if only he would let her. So, the morning after the butterfly had been destroyed once and for all, Moon Young had given Gang Tae a way out. It broke her heart to say the words, to ask him to move out, but she wanted all or nothing. Walking on eggshells with a masked Moon Gang Tae would be too painful.

Much to her surprise, the brothers refused to leave, but Gang Tae had kept using the silliest excuses and stories to convince her they should stay. Excuses she could not really believe. Until today, when he shouted "I love you!" multiple times, at the top of his lungs, and followed her back to the mansion, with a newfound determination in his gait. This was a side of him she had never seen before, and the way he lifted her onto the desk and kissed her senseless had absolutely taken her breath away. Shocked and overwhelmed at hearing "I love you" for the first time in her life, that too from the man who was her everything, she had finally surrendered, come what may.

Releasing a sigh of contentment, she opened her eyes to see Gang Tae looking down at her with something that must be love shining in his beautiful eyes. He squeezed her hand. She could hardly believe it. No one in her life had looked at her with so much affection. She hoped he really was ready to always be honest about what he was feeling and sharing all his thoughts with her, because she didn't think she could ever let him go again.

Moon Young needed to be in his arms tonight. She had missed him so, so much. Yes, she wanted to have sex with him at some point, but pushing him hadn't worked for her before. Gang Tae was a perplexing mixture of shy virgin and fiery lover. She could never predict what his next move would be. Besides, tonight she was feeling too vulnerable to suggest something and be rejected again. Sleeping in his warm embrace would be enough.

"I'm sleepy," she said, looking into Gang Tae's eyes. He blinked once, then again, the hand that was stroking her hair stopping. Did he not hear me? she thought.

"I'm sleepy," she repeated. Surely she didn't have to beg him to simply sleep with her in her bed, after he was the one who had said he loved her and had kissed her so passionately only a moment ago? Moon Young was a direct woman, and if she wanted sex tonight, she would tell him so. Besides, they had already slept together twice without anything else happening - once in the bed and breakfast, and once on her birthday night when Gang Tae had a fever.

"I said I'm sleepy," Moon Young said impatiently, a bit peeved at the way Gang Tae was avoiding her eyes. Aish, this is ridiculous, she thought, more than a little disappointed that he would go from hot to cold again. She got up from his lap, removing the suit jacket that was covering her legs and chucking it on his head. As she walked to the table to pick up her bag, from the corner of her eye she could see Gang Tae removing the jacket from his head and standing up. Without looking back at him, she stormed out of the room and started walking up the stairs. As she took the steps one by one, she sensed him following right behind her, not saying anything, his footsteps in sync with hers, his breathing heavy.

I'm not turning back, she thought as she reached the top of the stairs, afraid that he would see the disappointment in her eyes, afraid that he was backing out and making the decision to leave her alone and sleep in the room he shared with his brother.

Gang Tae followed Moon Young up the stairs, his heart beating rapidly as he watched the mesmerising sway of her hips in that sexy black dress, curving out from under a tiny waist accentuated by a tight belt. This dress had driven him crazy earlier today when she had walked away from him as he screamed that he loved her at OK Hospital, and it was driving him even crazier now that she was so close and they were all alone in this mansion. He had spoken to Sang Tae on the way from OK Hospital to the mansion when he was following Moon Young, to make sure he spends the night at Jae-Su's. When Sang Tae had asked why, his first instinct was to lie, but instead he had decided to treat Sang Tae like an adult and say, "Hyung, I need some privacy with her to make up." To his surprise, Sang Tae had immediately replied, "OK. I'll stay here. You guys make up, OK? A kiss is better than a fight." Gang Tae was amazed at how often Sang Tae was talking like an adult these days, and it was all because Gang Tae was learning from Moon Young to treat Sang Tae more like an older brother and less like a child.

The last few days had been so difficult - nothing he said would convince Moon Young to let him be with her. Tonight, he had finally made a breakthrough, and he was ashamed to admit it was because after so many days of beating around the bush, regaling fairy tales of two brothers, and using silly excuses like broken pipes, he had finally taken his mask off and been completely honest with her about what was in his heart. It didn't come easy to someone like him, who was so used to masking his feelings when the going gets tough, of pretending to be the strong one so that a problem could be solved. Moon Young was the only person who always saw through him, and of course she wasn't convinced by his words until today. When she had finally let him kiss her, with tears in her eyes when he said he loved her, Gang Tae had vowed that from this day onwards he would only be wholly and completely honest with Moon Young.

Which brought him back to the debacle on the sofa. When Moon Young said, "I'm sleepy", all Gang Tae could think about was him and her, in bed, naked, definitely not asleep. He had held himself back at the bed and breakfast, fully knowing she was ready for more, and he had held himself back the morning after her birthday, when woke up with his fever gone and found her nestled in his arms. Not to mention all the other times she had tried to initiate something and he had backed away. He was tired of holding himself back, and he knew Moon Young was tired of it, too. But despite quickly learning the art of passionate kissing, Gang Tae was a virgin, and Moon Young seemed experienced, and he had no idea how to carry her smoothly from the sofa to the bed, especially when she said she was sleepy. Unfortunately, while he faltered to reply seductively, it seemed Moon Young had taken it the wrong way, storming out of the living room without another word.

Moon Young paused for a second at the top of the stairs, and then, without looking at him, started walking towards her bedroom. As if in a trance, Gang Tae followed close behind her as she opened her bedroom door and stepped inside. He placed his hand on her waist, the front of his body almost but not quite touching the back of hers, and lowered his mouth to her ear.

Be honest, he told himself. Be yourself. No more masks.

"Ko Moon Young," he said, softly. "I'm not sleepy tonight."

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