Their Songstress, Menage à Trois

eleven | confusion

| confusion [con·fu·sion] |

(n.) the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.

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REMI'S POV

"Truth is I'm dishonest...cause I'm always scared to get too deep."

I hummed quietly to myself as I glided my pen across the heavily scribbled paper with lyrics that hung in my mind. After a night of little to no peace as I laid awake watching the stars, I resorted to my work until the early hours of the morning. My music provided no haven for my clouded thoughts that repeated last night's exhausting conversations and realizations.

Their truths and honesty ripped through my heart, leaving me additionally conflicted than how I'd felt walking to our dinner. No clarity was provided; instead, I was dropped into the murky waters of the unknown with my own decisions to make. Heavyweights rested on my shoulders, making my body resemble a thousand pounds. In my attempts at sleep, I saw them in my dreams, their vibrant and intense words swirling around my subconscious, making me resort to staying up till the sun skimmed the horizon.

The soft pillow cushioned my butt as I sat on my shaded fire escape wrapped in a plush blanket to shield me from the brisk summer breeze. Birds chirped softly in the pink sky as they bounced from tree to tree, singing harmonious tunes that brought a soft smile to my face. I admired their freedom, their beauty, their clarity. All the things I sensed I lacked in this given time.

I tried to omit them; my decision already constructed the second I'd arrived at home. But as soon as my eyes fluttered shut, I knew it wasn't my reality. I was intimidated, horribly so, and I was further terrified at the intensity every sentence that oozed from their mouths carried. No word lacked its meaning; instead, they held raw honesty, something I didn't know if I had anymore.

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit I was somewhat intrigued. I was, there was no denial in that. I knew that when I decided to stay despite my instincts to run away. Gosh, did I crave to run and disregard they existed. But that also proved impossible because Trent and Gray would forever be imprinted in my troubled thoughts.