Be Brave

What's the Plan, Cap'n? Part 3

Before he turned to leave he gave her a smile that chilled Amara to her core, like he knew something bad was going to happen to her and he couldn't wait for it. 

She could barely mumble an okay before he left. 

Numbly she walked out her room and headed for the stairs, her conscious snipping at her every step of the way. 

This is what you get for pushing buttons. What did you think would happen? You're a dumbass. 

She tried to ignore her inner monologue, continuing up the steps onto the deck. Kirk stood at the helm, looking out over the crowd of men standing before him, nobody was moving; everything was dead silent. 

His hands rested lazily on the wheel but wasn't steering it. His eyes searched, found hers and bore into her and he motioned with his head for her to come join him. As if having an out-of-body experience, Amara's body propelled her forward but her mind didn't seem to understand what was going on. As soon as she got close to him, he led her to yet another room on deck, this one, though small, still seemed massive with the furnishing inside. 

Why is it a dirty band of pirates like these have such great furniture on their ship? 

A grand old table sat in the middle, two buffets lined the walls on either side and there sat six massive high-backed chairs total at the table. It seemed odd to her because she imagined it could hold so much more. Both buffets along the wall had tray after tray of various bottles and glasses set on top. Each bottle held liquids of different colors from deep brown to a sweet honey color to just clear, like water, but Amara assumed that wasn't what it was. 

Her father went to one of the buffets now, grabbing a glass and pouring from one of the honey brown bottles and draining it completely before refilling it. Slowly he turned to look at her. Amara flinched, expecting the sting of a hand connecting with her face or something, but nothing came at her. Her father stood still, composed, slowly sipping from his second glass of whatever it was. He looked at her for the longest time, not speaking, just looking. 

Finally, when the silence was becoming unbearable to her, she opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off-

"You look so much like your mother, it's scary." Her head snapped back at the unexpected remark. No one had ever told her that. He continued, "The day I found out what happened, I felt like I'd been swallowed whole into the earth. I felt like nothing mattered in life anymore. I couldn't eat, sleep. I was a wreck but couldn't tell anyone why. You and your mother were a secret, did you know that?" He paused briefly, Amara shook her head no slowly, still quiet.

"Nobody was supposed to find out, in case my enemies were closer than I thought and if they tried to use you against me. But somehow, word got out, or maybe it was just an unlucky coincidence, a home robbery gone wrong. I never got any answers since I didn't ever find the culprits. I came home right away, expecting to see two bodies and instead found one dead body and a little girl crying."

Kirk paused again, his eyes looked shiny and he took another long sip, then coughed and continued. "Given the circumstances, I was happy. Ecstatic even. I had lost my wife, but still had my child." He solemnly raised his glass in a silent toast.

Amara stood with her arms over her chest, not really interested in hearing this story, but she kept her mouth shut still, eyes stinging from unshed tears. This wasn't a memory she wanted to talk about with him.

"I knew I had to do a better job protecting you since I failed the first time and your mother paid the price for that mistake. And I can never forgive myself for that, but I can try to do right by you, which is what I want. I'm really trying here, Am." He set his drink on the table, it made a soft clink noise as it made contact. He stepped towards her and before she could protest, he embraced her in his arms. Not sure what to do with her hands, she placed them on his sides so as not to really hug him.