Masked Attraction

Chapter 28: Wrong Feelings

When I walk in, I instantly notice this party is nothing like the last one I went to. Hot air sticks to my skin with the stench of weed and beer encompassing the whole room. People are crowded throughout the couches drinking and using bongs. There are girls lounging out on the kitchen island giggling endlessly surrounded by colorful trays of shots.

I scour the room for Sebastien, red cups and beers sinking beneath my shoes as I squeeze through sweaty bodies. My eyes finally stumble upon him in the back, with a bottle of Jameson's in his hand. The music fades as my mind goes completely still like watching yourself drop something in slow motion. I notice Britt near him who is chatting with a girl, she looks exceptionally serene and collected without a care in the world. My hands scrunch into fists. Why is she just standing there? He doesn't drink. He never drinks.

I watch him knock back the bottle taking a long swig and I feel my feet moving straight for him without thinking. I lose a whiff of my anger. I walk into his line of sight and he glances up, his glassy baby blue eyes meeting mine.

He blinks at me. "Emma?"

"Bash?"

"What are you doing here Emma?" He asks.

"What are you doing Bash?" My voice is harsher in emphasis as I direct my gaze at the bottle. He looks down following my eyes.

He lifts the bottle in the air, "I am having a drink, want some? You look like you could use some," he states in a matter-of-fact tone with a dead smile. My ire sparks and I am back to livid. I grab his arm and march across the room dragging him behind me. He silently follows, but I see him chugging the bottle again out of the corner of my eye, so I snatch it out of his hands.

"What the fuck Emma," he states in a confused but irritated voice, but I ignore him moving along. I stop us once we are at his room and turn the knob but it's locked. I realize he probably locks it so people don't hook up in here.

I stretch out my hand to him and state "Key." He gazes at me working hard to focus on what I am saying before reaching into his pocket fuddling around for longer than should be. When he finally finds the key he hands it to me. I unlock it and pull us both inside closing the door to maintain the quiet. "Talk," I demand at him in a businesslike quality crossing my arms across my braless chest. I still have the bottle in my hand and I am in my pajamas, but I couldn't care less my entire focus on Sebastien. His dark gray oxford top is rolled up to his elbows, buttoned low exposing the top of his chest. He looks put together, but I know his mind isn't. He just stands there silently observing me.

"What do you want me to say?" His words come out a little fuzzy.

"What is your problem Bash! What is going on? Why are you acting like this? You never drink, why are you drinking?" I say throwing my hands up in the air.

"You," he declares simply and I pause.

"Wha-at?" I gawk at him.

"I am drinking because of you," he says and goes over to his bed and falls straight onto his back. I stand in place unable to move.

"Is this because of our fight?" I drill him.

"Yes and no," he murmurs.

"Okay, you're not making sense." I shake my head as I stare at his form on the bed.

"My brain isn't making sense," he responds plainly. I want to laugh but this is not a good moment to laugh. I cross the room to the bed.

"I am sorry for fighting about Britt with you and I am sorry I missed our pizza night. Please don't drink because you're upset with me," I mutter softly.

"It's okay Emma. It's not even your fault. It's me. It's always me." I sit down next to him and he brushes the bottoms of my hair with his fingers seemingly mesmerized by it. He twists a couple of strands curling them around his fingers letting them fall.

"What are you talking about? What is really going on?" I am trying to search for the answer in his eyes.

"I...Nothing." He rubs a hand down his face. "I just I love you Emma. I am sorry I am a jerk," he declares.

"It's okay Bash. I love you too," I say meaning it.

He nods his head and keeps running his fingers through the bottoms of my hair intently playing with it. It's really hypnotic and then he sits up and stares at me. His eyes are like waves searching for words. I have never seen him like this. His hair is disheveled and he looks completely vulnerable with so many different emotions racing through his eyes. I am being completely absorbed into them. I find myself scooting closer wanting to figure him out. But just at that moment, the doorknob twists, and I turn around to see Britt charging in her dress clinging to her body and her makeup perfectly intact.

"There you guys are! What happened?"

Sebastien just grumbles and drops back down on the bed so I stand up and face Britt's direction.

"He is not feeling great. He doesn't normally drink," I manage to say. I'm a little annoyed she barged in because I literally have no idea what is going on and I doubt I will ever figure it out now.

"Oh, I know. I was surprised, but he looked like he was enjoying it so I figured why not and I gave him the bottle," she states oblivious, and flips half of her blonde hair over her shoulder.

I stare at her flabbergasted. Does she not realize his dad is an alcoholic and how much he despises it? Well, I guess Bash still never told her. Apparently, he doesn't tell her anything.

Annoyed again at both of them I grunt, "I'll go find him some aspirin." I head out into the hall and search for the nearest bathroom. I spot Derek, his frat brother, strolling by and I sprint up to him. He appears inherently confused that I am speaking to him, most likely because I have never talked to him before, but when I ask him he goes into a room and comes back out with a bottle. I mutter "thanks" and head back to Sebastien's room. By the time I come back Britt is stroking his chest and seductively kissing along his shoulder. He looks semi-normal again now but is barely paying any attention to Britt. He's still lost in his thoughts as she murmurs in his ear. They didn't hear me come in yet so I quietly set the aspirin on his dresser and edge out trying to go out unnoticed.

Britt, however, catches me. "Thank you Emma sweetie. I'll make sure he has some if he needs."

"Alright, sounds good. Bye," I utter and then quickly exit the room nearly running. Disturbed by this whole situation and the feelings I shouldn't be having, I know I need to get out of this house. I'm also starting to register the fact that I am in my pajamas at a party and feeling way more self-conscious than I was when I got here. I try and encounter as few people as possible but it is basically hopeless. I text Jamie I am heading back, get an Uber, and go back to my dorm trying not to ponder over my thoughts.

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