Masked Attraction

Chapter 45: Everything Okay?

Sunday

Epidemiology - Chapters 10-17
Basic Research Methods - Chapters 2-19
Physics - Chapters 1-15
Biochemistry - Chapter 1-20
Statistics - Chapters 12-22

I have been scribbling on my agenda planning and sorting all morning. Organizations and lists are what make me feel in control and since finals are approaching, it is was the perfect time to set a study schedule. Once finished, I hopped on the bus back to Princeton and jumped right into my cramming sessions. Four hours in, my stomach is growling quite forcefully so I allow myself a quick dash to the dining hall.

I spot Becky sitting with three people so I grab a salad and pasta and approach where she is sitting. When I get closer I notice it is also Sebastien, Jared, and Jess. Huh, interesting...

"Hi," I say awkwardly standing across from them holding my tray.

"Emma! Yay, you're here," Jess exclaims. Her enthusiasm relieves some of my discomfort.

Sebastien glances up and smiles. "Hey, Emma, what's up?" He scoots over making some room.

"Nothing much," I reply taking up the open spot and whispering my thanks to him. I put down my food and silently readjust to the news that Sebastien is suddenly friends with them all.

Becky spins to me her eyes wide. "Oh my gosh, Emma how's your car?"

At that, Bash's gaze turns to stare a hole into the side of my head, but I ignore it.

"All fixed," I chirp.

Jess's face fills with worry. "What happened? Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I just got a flat no big deal," I murmur shoving a mouthful of rigatoni into my mouth and chug a long sip of my water. When I finally look up, I meet Sebastien's expecting eyes.

"I could have fixed your car," he states his eyebrows furrowing together.

"I know, but I don't have to call you for everything," I mumble and I cross my arms uneasily around my chest. He leans in closer to me to not be overheard.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" He whispers his voice laced with concern.

My mind flashes in a spiral. Serena, my almost nervous breakdown, the flat, my parents, and my feelings. Nothing but my whole life upheaving itself over a cliff.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer forcing another bite of food down. His face is full of disbelief, but he doesn't question it.

Becky starts talking rapidly pulling us away from our private discussion.

"Things are just getting back to normal and now I have to deal with some exes! I want to say Ray can't see them, but she considers them old friends."

"Goodness. That is terrible Becky, but Ray would never do anything to hurt you," Jess responds.

Becky brushes away the hair falling from her ponytail and nods her head. "Yeah, you're right. I just have to trust her," she replies and I shoot her an encouraging smile. Everyone continues to talk about some professor or Greek thing, but I continuously zone out. My alarm on my phone goes off and I rush up.

"Oh! I got to get going. I have to start back to my studying," I announce not wanting to let myself get sidetracked.

Sebastien stands alongside me. "I'll walk you back," he declares. He doesn't leave much room for disagreement so I shrug in acceptance. We go toss out our plates in the bin and walk in the direction of my building. We walk in a comfortable silence both too captivated in our thoughts. He follows me into my dorm and once the door closes he finally speaks.

"So are you going to explain what's going on?"

I stiffen at his words. Unsure of what I should say, I stall by neatly piling my books on my desk.

"I know you, something is going on. Your car is like my first project. I have been taking care of it forever. You normally would call me first thing," he repeats tilting his head.

"Maybe I should start charging since you missed the flat," I comment in a dry tone. His lip perks up, but he resists the smile.

I observe him. "You know I am offended you think I can't fix a flat on my own," I remark.

"I never said you couldn't. I am just surprised you didn't tell me. Have you ordered a new tire yet?"

Oops, definitely forgot about that. "Um, no. I am going to that, it's on my list of things to do," I mutter fidgeting with my necklace.

He scrutinizes me and I squirm under his gaze.

"Hey, it was just a stressful few days, alright? I got a flat, had an anxiety attack, school stress. Finals are around the corner and I—"

"Wait, hold on. When did you have an attack?"

I freeze realizing my other mistake. "It was nothing. Just the day of the internship," I stammer.

"Why didn't you call me?" His voice softens.

"Because! I don't know! I just feel like we don't have to tell each other everything," I echo frustrated.

His phone starts ringing between us startling us both. I glance down seeing Serena's name pop up on the screen. He squints at it before sliding it to hang up.

"See this is the problem!" I snap.

He blinks taken aback. "What?"

"You do this," I say waving my hand down to his phone. "You push aside everyone for me. We can't do that. I can't rely on you for everything anymore." My tone raising.

Serena and Luka are right. I do have feelings for Sebastien, a hot mess of them and it's becoming a problem. It will be that much harder when he gets serious with someone, especially if I am getting envious of him bringing girls to group events and when they call him. He's just being a good friend, but it's making things confusing for my stupid heart.

"What do you mean that you can't always rely on me?" He says bewildered.

"I mean you can't always be there for me Sebastien! I know you say you can, but eventually, our lives are going to go in separate directions. You have girlfriends and ultimately you will have to confide to them and put them first," I explain revealing my fears.

"Woah, where is this coming from?"

"I don't know!" I huff. "I think we need to accept it is okay to have lives outside each other. Maybe that's why none of your relationships last. Maybe that's why I never have any relationships either."

"Wow, Emma," he says crossing his steel arms. "So what, You don't want me around anymore? Because I am getting in the way of your life?" His voice growing angry too.

I pause not even knowing what I am trying to say, only that I know I am upset.

"No, that's not what I said," I stutter.

"That's exactly what you said Emma. You never have a relationship because of me. Well, fine I'll give you space." He marches past me out the door.

"Ugh, no that's not what I meant Bash," I shout out to him and he pauses at the door but doesn't turn around.

"Well, let me know when you figure it out." And the door slams behind him.

I drop down in my bed. Serena definitely got to me. She was a bitch, but she kinda had a point as much as I hate to admit to it. I still feel incredibly guilty about Sebastien breaking up with Brittany since I actually liked her. I thought she was a good person, but then I was secretly glad they broke up. How beyond messed up is that? I am seriously making everything worse because I cannot get a handle on things. I realize I have had a crush on Sebastien for years, but now all of the sudden it is blowing up in my face. I cradle my head in my hands.

***
*author's note*
Thank you for reading & continuing with the story I am so grateful and happy 😊 I am starting to plan ahead and I am super excited for some future chapters ;) Have a lovely day/evening everyone ❤️❤️ Don't forget to vote