𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 || 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐲𝐧

𝐋𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

I don't like the stars anymore.

Arcturus, Procyon and Vega

Those were names I used to cry over, they gave me purpose. The reason I would smile from hour to hour, day to day and for a decade and a half. Until I turned fourteen was when the stars had lost their meaning . Determination, sorrow, Agony and confusion where now the names that seemingly gave my life new purpose.
Just to feel these things so others would be spared.

"Are you sure you love him?" I asked looking over towards jack who didn't even respond. He just looked away to the window and wiped his irritated red eyes. "You're a fucking idiot." I groaned. Filled with anger I raised my fist,of words wouldn't work maybe my hands would.

Emma stood up running across the room and stood in front of the boy who refused to cry any more. I chucked a bit in irony looking to where he was sitting, my favorite chair in this world. I tried my best not to sit in it often because it always reminded me fo the best and worst day of my life. This was probably the best and worst day of jack's life as well. The chair was my biggest blessing and most damned cursed.

"Can't you drop the asshole act for just one moment?!" Emma said turning to look at me with a scowl on her face, I rolled my eyes heavily. "I don't care.. it's his fault. He knows the truth of the situation already." I argueded back as she sat down beside the boy.Though as hard as I put on a tough face and gave the cold shoulder I knew what jack was going through. It was tough and something normal people didn't have to go through but I wouldn't sit around and sugar coat it.

You can't put a bandaid on a cut that needs surgery. So I promised myself and jack I wouldn't.

"He's still got one year."Jack muttered not daring to look at me, but it angered me even more. "LET HIM GO!" I screamed suddenly surprised at my own tone. Everyone in the room turned and the already quiet atmosphere now felt dead. "You barley know him now.." I continued quietly but still that small fire was in my chest. It was burning and jack looked prepared to put it out when I saw his tears falling.

"It's almost too late to fall out of love, I leaned the hard way." I muttered sitting beside the two as I felt my own tears begin to prick my eyes slightly. "That boat sailed a long time ago." He chuckled and now our roles were enevitably reversed. I was now crying for him and he was holding me with his arms around me. It reminded me once again

Of this chair that was my blessing but also

my curse.

September 4th 2014

"Arcturus and Procyon they are perfect, don't you think daniel?" I said excited as I gazed through the textbook looking at my favorite page. From the creases at the bottom of the page and the slight fading of color in the bottom corner and the side of the paper you could see where I constantly pressed my finger. It was the worlds brightest stars that were listed there and I wanted to know why exactly the stars shined so bright. As I gawked at the page I could see Daniel looking over to the window and at the field of teenagers around our age running around. It was as if Daniel and I came from different worlds. He was social and bubbly and I was shy and reserved. I was into the galaxy and stars but daniel had little to no interest of the stars he loved the outdoors. He loved running, Daniel would run to the ends of the earth if he could.