Guns N' Roses One Shots

(s.h.) kissing a fool

sam x slash

summary:
when you have to pick up your boyfriend from the bar, you find out he's a little too drunk.

word count:
739

kissing a fool-george michael

☻

"Hey, where we goin'?" Slash was pushed out of the bar by his band mates and into my arms. They all seemed a little too drunk for their own good. "Home." I stated simply. "No! I wanna drink! I wanna party!" he whooped and hollered as I dragged him down the street to our apartment. "No! Sammy, I wanna go back! Please, babe? Please?" I groaned at his heavy body, I was carrying damn near his full weight.

"We're going to go home and you're going to go to bed." He whined, "Aw, no! You're no fun." "Okay, Saul." "Party pooper." "Okay, Saul." "Hmph." he pouted, furrowing his eyebrows and trying to plant his feet onto the sidewalk. "Come on." I grunted, pulling him along. "No! I wanna go back!" he demanded like a child.

"Fine. Go back." I huffed, beginning to make my way back to the apartment. "Wait! Sammy, I'm sorry." he called, tumbling his way back to me. As soon as he latched onto my shoulders, I nearly fell. "Are you ready to act right?" I asked. "Yes." he grumbled back. Eventually, we made it to the front steps. I slipped the key from my pocket, about to slide it into the lock when he interrupted, "Wait! I wanna do it!"

I rolled my eyes and planted the key flat in his large palm. He giggled and aimed for the keyhole, but missed. Again, he tried. Fail. "Saul, please." I begged, tired of supporting his whole body. "I know, I'm fuckin' trying!" Finally after a good minute and a half, he finally turned the key. "Okay, are you going to take a shower?" I asked, tossing his nearly-limp body onto the bed. "Mm, no." he stated.

"You smell like trash." I crumpled up my nose in disgust. He reeked of Jack Daniels and B.O. "Nuh uh!" he whined. "Yes you do, " I countered, "Smell your shirt." Giving me a weird look, he pulled up his collar and sniffed it, "Ugh! I smell bad." he huffed. "Yeah, I know. Go get in the shower."

He pulled himself from the comfort of our bed and began tearing off his clothes, aiming them at my head as he did so. "I need help!" he yelled from the restroom over the running water. I mumbled obscenities to myself as I stripped myself of my outfit, stepping in beside him under the shower head. "Is this one shampoo?" "Did you read the label?" I asked. "Uh.. I dunno." I sighed and squeezed a generous amount into my hand, lathering the soap through his thick curls. "Oh, that feels so good." he said as I scrubbed his scalp.

"Wash your body while I put in your conditioner." I directed, repeated the process with the other bottle and finger combing it through to the ends. "How 'bout you wash my body." he smirked, turning around and nearly pushing me against the cool tile. As sexy as he was, I knew he would have trouble keeping it up when he was this wasted.

"Babes, we both know your drunk ass is going to hurt yourself if we try to have sex right now. Wash your body." "No fun." he grumbled. After a few minutes of silence and the running water, he spoke, "Sam?" "Mhm?" "Do you think I have a nice dick?" I stopped smoothing the conditioner through and quirked an eyebrow, "Huh?" "Like.. do you think it's big and stuff? The boys say I have a small dick." he muttered.

"They're just messing around, babe. Don't worry. I think it's great." I chuckled. He hummed contently and kept scrubbing himself. "I'm done, Sammy Wammy." he stated, squeezing out the water from his hair. Messily twisting his hair into a towel on top of his head and wrapping himself in a towel, he tossed his heavy body onto the bed. "I'm tired."

"Then go to bed." I suggested. "But you're not laying down." "Right." I nodded. "I can't go to bed without you." he pouted. I tossed him a pair of boxers and slipped into the covers beside him. "Now I'm in bed. Happy?" "I'd be happier if you gave me a kiss." he smiled lazily and puckered his lips. I giggled.

"You idiot."

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!! r. speaks:
is this the first slash chapter i've done? wow.. embarrassing. how'd u guys like it tho?? i got inspo for a line in this from another fic i read, and i'm really blanking on the name, but if i remember i'll definitely leave it somewhere so u guys can see! stay tuned, and stay groovy. peace!