Be With me.

1. back to the start

1. Back to the start

just like most of the kids in my age I was cursing the teacher in my head as she taught literature. even though it was one of my favourite subject I just hated The Merchant of Venice like why did Antonio continue to be Bassanio's friend because honestly Bassanio was the worst friend I have ever seen except maybe myself but still I just throw random bitch fits and don't just take debts under my friends name and risk their life also how is his love even true, I just feel like he was marrying Portia for her wealth. Also shylock didn't deserve what Antonio put him through he was just broken with no one to love him and Antonio had no right to humiliate him because of his caste or anything, I understand that the era was different but I still didn't like it.

I was mentally bitching about this when I heard the bell followed with sighs of relief. at least we had lunch now cause if I even heard another word related to studies I would turn all green, giant and angry and smash everything around me to pieces. indirectly go all hulk.

I stepped out of the classroom into the crowded hallway and made a beeline towards my best friend Michaels locker. As soon as I reached there I could feel his arms wrap around me and pull me into a comforting hug.

lets just say we had quite a friendship, we talked about absolutely anything and he had been with me throughout the darkest times in my life. he released me from his hug and looked at me with worry etched all over his face. if I saw how I looked right now I would also be worried, I had dark circles under my eyes because of all the nightmares I have been having lately everything is riling back again and I am feeling constricted. all the therapy, all the assurances have no effect. I want to let everything out and cry in Michaels arms but I cant, I don't want to ruin his senior year its just the start and I am relapsing but I cant help it, all this is overwhelming being back to school is taking toll on me but I am helpless like always all the memories are coming back. it helps that Michael is here with me but he's not enough, he cannot fill the void I miss them all these 6 months couldn't help me not even close I am still stuck there and I know I cannot move forward. wow I was seriously talking about merchant of Venice ant the start and now this, sometimes I get way too intense...

I zoned back into reality and assured him that I was fine before heading to the cafeteria. I waved at people here and there. I was very social in school before and had many friends and I couldn't just be rude and ignore them. today everybody questioned me about my disappearance for the last six months which I answered with the perfectly practiced excuse. its pathetic that nobody even noticed that it was a lie.

we got our food from the counter, I just got a salad cause I didn't feel like eating, which didn't go unnoticed by Michaels prying gaze which told me we were going to have quite a conversation later, we took our seats on the football teams table. today was the first day of senior year and since I didn't come to school for the past six months everything seemed new. I usually sat at the football teams table because I used to play with them they looked at me in surprise and questioned why I hadn't been to school for a long time, I just waved them off by telling them that my parents temporarily took me to London with them because of their business where I enrolled in online school and gave my last years exams which was half true, everyone fell for this lie but amongst them I could feel a heavy gaze a gaze of a person who knew I was lying Nathan Mills.

So heyy guysss,

I hope you are enjoying the book
I will try my best to upload on regular basis like once a week but if I couldn't please bear with me.

Thank for reading,
Ilyyy.