Book Of Roses

Idiot

Warning: NSFW Content

You did it again. Your stupid ass did it again, didn't you? Are you proud of yourself? Good. You shouldn't be. You promised yourself you wouldn't let him in again. And here you are now, sore and wishing you didn't know that other side of him. There's a mark on your chest. It'll go away after a few days, but the memory will never fade. None of them will.

Two or three other girls.

Were they before or after me?

She didn't have a bad reflex, it felt really good.

My efforts were mediocre in comparison, huh?

I bet nobody will be able to satisfy you anymore.

Was it necessary to remind me?

That's my acceptance letter, I leave in August.

A clear message was painted in my head, then. He wanted to get as much experience as possible before he left. That's what this was. It's all it ever was; all it will ever be. He's had better partners than you. Those words prove it. 

So why did he spend his night with you? 

He was bored. He needed to stay awake for his next shift at 4 a.m. 

But hey, at least he walked you to the door. Only because you feigned weak lefts. At least he kissed you goodbye, only because he pitied you. 

You let him in again so easily. He barely had to try, isn't that sad? 

But who were you to refuse seeing him? You wanted to feel his arms around you again. Wanted to feel his lips on your skin. 

So you let him. 

You let him talk about others. You watched him pick up a call from a girl that lasted fifteen minutes. He said goodnight. You said goodnight. 

You haven't heard from him today. Why? He said he was going swimming with a friend. But surely he didn't spend the entire day with him. 

Oh, how pathetic you are. Believing he ever took you seriously.

Believing he had a higher respect for what you said.