Fate by Any Other Name

Part 4

LEILANI

I met Jisung. I went to the concert and got to meet him for real. I ended up in his hotel room and now I was on his bed with him on top of me. Any normal girl would be clawing at him, pulling him in for more and already undressing him, but that was not me. I would love to be able to do those things, but you see... I have no experience in them. I was a virgin. A very nervous, scared and shy virgin. It was a miracle I even made it this far. The effects of the alcohol were starting to wear off, and if I had been with any man other than Jisung, I definitely would have run away already.

His hands were wondering my body again, this time he was a little more bold and felt all the way up to my chest. I gasped a little when he squeezed my breasts and flinched even more when his thumb started to play with a nipple over my clothes. The breath he took when I made a noise was sweet music. Arousal was overtaking fear little by little the more he played with me. I wanted to touch him, too, but I was afraid. I got to see his glorious body on stage only a few hours ago and again when he answered the door in his boxers; I really wanted to touch it. Gathering my nerves, I put my hands on his sides and held them there for a moment. I was frozen, until his hand tugged at his shirt, lifting it from under my fingers. The instant I felt his hot skin, I made a noise he really liked. The muscles under my hands flexed and his fingers dug into the bedding on either side of me. His breathing had a slight whimper to it with heavy panting. He was driving me crazy! The more worked up I got, the more willing I was to explore his stomach and chest. This wasn't me at all! My body was doing things on its own. Things that scared the hell out of me, but felt right.

Jisung got under my shirt and I thought for sure I was going to run. My whole body tensed, but when he left my lips to kiss down my jaw and neck, I melted into everything he was doing. Gentle fingers caressed my skin and worked their way under my bra. His fingers made contact and my nails went into his skin on reflex. I hope I didn't hurt him.

Nope, I did not hurt him, but he was going to kill me! The pressure of my nails had his body rolling with a light thrust. I felt him... Jisung was hard... for me.

"Ji...sung.", my voice was airy as I whined his name.

[English] "My angel.", he moaned back with another thrust.

"I'm afraid."

[English] "Me, too. I want more, but I don't know how. No, I mean... I never... I am... [Korean] How do I say it again?? [English] Virgin?"

"So am I."

[English] "Oh.", he stopped and left a sweet kiss on my lips, "I should stop. I can't do that. Being a virgin is important. I should not take it from you."

"No one else is going to. I'm 21 and free to date and do anything I want, yet I'm still untouched."

[English] "They are stupid. Missing out. Women like you are rare. You are honest and, real? Yes, real. You know? Do I make sense?"

"I get what you are saying. I'm really happy, since I love you so much.", oh no, here come the tears again.

[English] "Shhh, don't worry. I understand, too. I am happy you feel this way.", he stroked my hair and kissed my eyes, nose and cheeks until I started laughing. "Can I... touch you? I want you to be my first. I think, this might be Fate."

"Does Fate really exist?"

[Korean] "It has to. I never could have found you without it."

"Be gentle."

Jisung nodded and drew a nervous breath. A few more kisses and he was ready to start removing clothing. First, his shirt went and we kissed some more until he was brave enough to take off his pants. In nothing but his boxers, he started to shake a little as he reached for my shirt. I was so uncomfortable with my body; I wasn't sure how I'd ever let him remove it.