Fate by Any Other Name

Part 3

LEILANI

I had been completely comfortable with Jisung only seconds ago, but now I was nervous again.

[English] "You nervous, too?"

"Yes.", I laughed.

[English] "Same.", he laughed back, "So... you like me, too?"

"Me and a million other fans. You are very handsome, if you hadn't noticed."

[English] "That is not one of the reasons you listed earlier for liking me."

"Doesn't make it less true! But you are right. Your looks are just a bonus. I was drawn to you because you were so relatable. Your anxiety, how silly you can be, the fact that you love to have fun and that you are introverted like me. You make me laugh without even trying and I feel warm all over when I watch videos of you. Is all of that real? I mean, you made me laugh a lot tonight and I got to see your personality for myself, but is it real? Or are you just used to being this way because of your-"

[English] "It is me. I do not know how to be any other way. I tried in the beginning to be cool, but I couldn't stop myself from being me. So I rolled with it.", he chuckled, "It makes me really happy to hear those things. Without make up and fame, no one noticed me much. I like that you see more than that."

"To be honest, a lot of fans do. Not all, but a lot of fans see all of you for more than just good looks and sexy bodies. It's just that the more shallow ones are louder. I love how talented you are and that you get to share your views and thoughts with the world. You have no idea how much it helps people. You have a beautiful soul, Jisung."

JISUNG

It had been on my mind since I saw her at the show tonight; all night I was watching her beautiful lips move and wishing I had the time and nerve to get to know her better and kiss them. I knew I'd never be brave enough to kiss her, or anyone for that matter without months of preparing and getting comfortable. That is, until she said those wonderful things with such pure honesty. I could tell she wasn't faking it or telling me what I wanted to hear. She was terribly nervous despite how much we've been drinking. Just as I was. Maybe it was being face to face alone with someone, or maybe it was the alcohol... it could be a combination of many things, but I wanted to thank her with more than words. I wanted to hold her, kiss her and let her know that her sweet words were truly heard. She made me feel like I meant something. Not as Han of Stray Kids, but Han Jisung, a boy from South Korea who liked music and making people smile. I watched her fingers dance around with each other as she shifted in her seat. The moment she told me I had a beautiful soul, I lost... or maybe gained control over my anxiety and shot forward over the open box of pizza to kiss her tempting lips. The moment we touched, I felt an electric current pulse through my body with a relaxing chill. This was so right.

Just as fast as I had lunged forward, she jolted back with a gasp, breaking the kiss and covering her mouth with wide eyes, "J-J-Jisung!" Maybe this wasn't so right after all...

[Korean] "I'm so sorry!", I pulled back and bowed down, "Please forgive me! I... I...", I what? Didn't mean to? That was a lie. [English] "Mistake! I'm sorry!", I couldn't even look up at her.

'Y-you kissed m-me!"

[English] "I know, I'm sorry!"

"Why??"

[Korean] "What do you mean 'why'? [English] Because you said all those nice things. My heart... it felt good. I was happy... I felt special. [Korean] And because I think I like you..."

"W-what was t-t-that las-t part?"

[English] "I like you..."

"I d-don't und-derstand why. No g-guys like m-me. I'm a m-mess. My anxiety-ty keeps me from d-doing anyth-thing, talking t-to anyone, I'm n-not prett-ty, I'm f-fat and I-I can't s-st-top this damn st-utter long en-nough to conv-vey anyth-thing!"