END ME

35

Henry's POV

After I left Patrick's house I got in my car and just drove... I drove until I had an empty tank so I went to the gas station, filled her up... and kept driving.. all day long. I had to have gone through at least a pack and a half of cigarettes just from that long ass car ride. I couldn't explain why but I was just so angry. How could he accuse me of something like that? All though I didn't understand why he would do that, I felt so horrible for all the things I said to him earlier. I literally told, the love of my life ,the boy I want to spend the rest of my life with... that he's a 'sad excuse for a boyfriend' and that he's stupid-... I didn't even say I love you back when he said it to me. All I've been able to think about for the past hour is what he did when I left. I don't believe in god but guys, I prayed to god that my baby wouldn't hurt himself. I know I should text him and I know this sounds shallow but I just can't bring myself to call or text him... it's too embarrassing, I literally told him he wasn't gonna see me for the rest of the day. I don't want to seem weak right? Yeah I need to show him that I don't mess around.. I'm not just gonna let him accuse me of shit like that! But I miss him so much, I just want to hold him in my arms. I wanna kiss him and play with his hair and make him feel safe and loved. It's ok though... Patrick can handle this I'm sure he's fine. He's strong, he's okay right now.. right? Once I got home around 11:15 I texted Vic and told him that me and Patrick got in a fight and that I wanted him to go check on him, I didn't go into too much detail. He replied back with a thumbs up emoji and the rest of the night I waited for him to text me telling me that Patrick was ok and that I should come over but he never did. I ended up only getting 2 hours of sleep because after waiting for the text for so long I fell asleep. Only to be woken up by my dad coming home at 3 in the morning drunk as hell, thankfully he didn't want to talk to me or anything tonight. After that I just couldn't go back to sleep. I thought about what I did and ways I could make it better. Should I buy him a bunch of stuff? Should I... just give him space? Nah I couldn't do that.. being away from him is so difficult. Patrick is my only happiness. I decided to just go to his house today and wing it... I'll just say what my heart wants to say in that moment.. I'm trusting that it'll say the right things.

It is currently 10:00 am and all though it is still pretty early, Patrick's dad left for work an hour ago so I figured I'd just go to his house now. I showered and then drove over to his house. I didn't bother knocking and just walked right in, making my way to his room. I opened the door and saw Vic laying in his bed. Patrick was cuddled up next to him, a leg and arm draped over victors skinny body. They both were asleep. I walked over to the bed and put my hand on Patrick's shoulder, shaking him gently to wake him up. I took a deep breath when I saw his eyes flutter open as he turned to me, his eyes squinted. "Patrick.. I'm sorry I woke you up.. but.." he quickly sat up, clinging onto me like he hadn't seen me in weeks. I didn't even have time to think before I heard him sobbing quietly as he held onto me. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back soothingly. "Babyyy.. it.. it's ok.. don't cry.. I'm right here..." I stood there as Patrick hugged me, crying quietly as Victor slept. Patrick gasped for air and didn't let go. "You left me a-alone you... you... piece of shit.. you.." I nodded slightly and held onto him a little tighter. "I know... and I know that I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for that.. I wanted to come back last night but.. I don't know for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.." he just started crying harder. He looked awful. "Do you still love me?~.." I couldn't believe he'd ask me such a question. But then again I was pretty heartless yesterday. "Of course I still love you.. I'll always love you.. I'm so sorry for being so mean-.. I was upset.. and.. I couldn't control my anger.." everything about this was heartbreaking "why.. why aren't you mad right now Patrick? You should be pissed... you should be yelling and hitting me.. I hurt you so.. so.. bad... I said things that are.. fucking unforgivable.. why aren't you mad?.." he looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes-... fuck those eyes are gonna be the death of me. "I'm just happy to be back in your arms..." I don't know why but it made me so upset that he wasn't angry... but I decided it would be better off if I didn't say anything. I just stood there and hugged him for a few minutes, rubbing his back as he let out the rest of his tears.