"Look," I say to him, after the long silence. The tension and the heavy emotions was felt, "I'm sorry."
He looks up from his feet, and really looks at me. I know he's listening, he always does. Slowly his mouth moves, "For what?"
"Everything," I say, tears and tears escape me, "I am sorry that I fell in love with your voice, with the little voice notes you sent. I am sorry I fell in love with your beaming smiles and sweet, sweet laughter. I am sorry I fell in love with your heart and soul. I am sorry I fell in love with your words. I am sorry I fell in love with your face when you're wrenched in concentration . Your face in laughter. In excitement. You're beautiful," I offer a small smile before curling my lips down again. I shake my head, "I am sorry." I begin to stammer, I close my mouth. I was unable to look at him.
I hear his lips part. I look at his eyes, and I look deep, "I am sorry for falling in love with you."
"It's not your fault. You're all I'd ever known, it was easy like learning how to speak. I... I wish it had gone differently. Really I do. " I add, I am turned away from him but I feel him listening. I exhale, and sigh, "It's just so difficult waking up each morning not being able to look into the person who's in your heart's eyes. It's difficult to see them walk everywhere except in your hands. It's difficult to be so close to someone and love them but never being able to have them."
"I don't know what to say to you." His voice barely audible, barely recognisable.
"I know you have been loved before, your heart's been used, and the time does its due. I am not one to ask for a chance, but I'll ask because, goddamn heaven knows how much I want to keep that smile on your face. "
