The Nature of the Beast

Chapter 12

Enid wanted to stay hidden away for the last few days on board but boredom set in. There was only so many books to read and so many times she could pack and unpack her measly belongings. Her desire for fresh air and to see the sea from aboard the ship one last time won out. As she came on deck , Nikola and Marko were arguing. Their voice carried on the wind and Enid snuck around to hear them. She was surprised to see Marko up and about, not buried in his cabin, head in a bottle. He was a stronger man than she gave him credit for. Despite his indiscretion the other night, she saw why his crew respected him.

"Mother loved her. She would hate that you were forcing her to leave!" Nikola was shouting at his father.

"Don't tell me what your mother would want. I'm thinking of the crew, and you. Nothing good has come of her being here."

He was right. While not exactly her fault, death seemed to follow her wherever she went.

"It's not her fault. She's not a bad person."

"No Nikola, she's not. There are no good people or bad people, only problems that need solving. She's the problem and I'm solving it by eliminating her from our lives."

He turned and left, the conversation with Nikola over. Enid walked into Marko's path, eager to have a final confrontation. If he wished her gone, the least he could do was tell her himself.

He looked shocked for a moment, then ashamed as he looked at her. He motioned roughly to the back of the ship and stalked off.

She followed. 

"I just don't want Nikola to see us."

Enid frowned. Dark circles shown under his red rimmed eyes and he hadn't shaved in days. There was immense pain in his eyes. He was a lost man. Alone and suffering, she felt it mirrored inside herself.  She wasn't angry with him, or afraid if him, she was sad for him. She wanted to comfort him. Compassion filled her and she reached forward to hold him, reminded of her own father and his painful last days. He fell into her arms and held her.

It only took a few moments before he shook himself, wrenched her off of him and shook her.

"You have bewitched me. Because of you my wife is dead and my son hates me. You have put some spell on me, making me desire you despite the destruction you have brought about on us all. I cannot have it. If you will not leave on your own, I will force you. You are a like the Blud and the Vila, the fairies of old that make a man disoriented and wander with no sense. You delight in causing storms on the wind and our souls. You come from the devil, just as Senka said."

Shocked, Enid turned her back on him and crossed her arms. "That's preposterous. I only meant to comfort you. I love Vestal too, I lost her too," she lifted her chin in defiance, "and I didn't ask you to Nikola's room the other night when you stumbled in drunk. That was your doing." 

She turned to face him in accusation. She was so sick of being the one to blame, of superstition and ignorance.

Marko had the conviction to look abashed and again, ashamed.

"I'm sorry. You're correct and I cannot say I'm sorry enough. I am thankful Nikola stopped me when he did," he shuddered, "and I ask that you forgive me." He bowed his head to her.

Enid stood still, hands clenched in fists at her side. She was torn between clawing his eyes out and weeping for him. She chose a place in the middle.

"I forgive you, and I'll leave. I'll do my best to convince Nikola to stay. He belongs with you. For I fear you are right. I'm tainted and death will follow me all my days."

She turned and ran below, to cry and to hide and await the arrival of land.

#

They docked in the night; Enid felt the jolt of wood on wood as it woke her. It was deep night and Nikola was asleep beside her. She disentangled herself from his grasp and got up to dress. She could hear the men shouting above. Almost all hands on deck since so many were lost. She looked at Nikola sleeping, still such a boy. She was thankful he was spared the sickness and she vowed to keep him safe, even if it meant away from her. She would be alone now and it was better that way.

She sat in the chair and pulled on her boots. They were so tight; her toes ached as she pulled them on. She had grown so much these past few months. As she started buttoning them she heard a gasp from the bed.

"What are you doing?" Nikola was awake and glaring at her. Awake, he looked years older. The death of his mother and fighting with his father, who was too lost in his own grief to console Nikola, aged him. Even his voice seemed deeper, more commanding. As he rose from the bed he looked taller, darker, and fierce.

"I asked you what you were doing?" he crossed his arms in front of him, looking down his nose at her, eyes flashing in anger not yet realised.

Enid sat up, back straight and cleared her throat.

"I'm leaving. Alone," she stood up and started for the door.

He made it to the door first, standing in front of it, blocking the way.

"Nikola, you're not coming with me. You're father, he needs you. If he loses you too, it will break him. Now let me go," she tried shoving him out of the way. He was like stone and wouldn't budge.

"I said we were going together. You need me too, more than father does."

"I don't need you," Enid announced. "I don't need anyone."

Nikola laughed at her, making her angry.

"No? Well maybe I need you, did you think of that?"

She topped trying to push him out of the way. It was so easy for him to be vulnerable. He made her heart ache and soar at the same time.

"Nikola, stay. Stay for me. Stay for your mother. She would be sick to think you left your father alone," she said.

"No Enid, you're wrong. Don't you remember what she said? She gave us to each other. She wanted us to be together, to take care of each other. She saw what it was between us."

The ache in her stomach erupted at the thought of Vestal's final hours. 

The worst part of someone you love dying is reliving it over again every day. For a moment you forget they are dead, you are free from sadness. The weight of the suffering is gone from your chest. Then you remember and it's as if a hot wind descends inside your body and you are weighted again with the pain.

She needed Nikola like she needed water and air. He was the earth and she was the sky. She melted into his arms and for a moment forgot to worry about the future, forgot to hope for what might be. She lived in the moment with Nikola and held on.