The Nature of the Beast

Chapter 21

Fall was passing, the leaves turned golden in the trees then brown once they fell to the ground. They crunched, crispy under Enid's feet as she made her rounds outside, gathering water from the well. She was lugging it to the wolf park. The sweet earthy smell of fall wafted around her as she walked the tree lined path, a pep in her step.

She had named her favourite female wolf, Silver. 'Srebrenka'. She spoke Serbian to the animals every day, her way of practising without the embarrassment of other people watching her fumble. Each day her vocabulary grew, even though she spoke to M in English most of the time. M would respond in Serbian unless Enid didn't understand. She encouraged Enid to speak as much as possible, even though Enid was still shy about it. M's English was exceptional and gave rise to Enid once again wondering what exactly her upbringing was. She was educated and cultured, Enid could tell from her speech and because she knew a few languages. She was not given to superstitions so common in the townsfolk, as well. Although she was able to use those superstitions to her advantage with her 'surgeries'. She performed them more often now that the holidays were approaching.

"No one likes to be alone during their Slava or at Christmas." M remarked when Enid questioned her influx of visitors. M was happy to oblige. It meant money and supplies for the animals and a new cloak for both M and Enid for the coming winter.

"You'll teach me what you do one day, won't you?" Enid would ask, eager to learn.

"No," M would say, her arms crossed in front of her.

Enid would laugh at her sternness on the matter, but was persistent. She knew she could wear her down. Enid chuckled as she stroked Silver. M was a good woman. She was protecting Enid from inheriting her reputation of being a witch. She wanted her to study and work hard in school and do something different with her life. But Enid liked the life M lived, it was peaceful.

The only other time Enid dreamt of something different for herself was with Nikola. The thought of them having a life together, owning a bookstore together, becoming husband and wife used to fill her with joy. Now they seemed like a silly dream and instead of making her happy, embarrassed her. She was so gullible.

Feeling shame at being naive enough to be deceived, she lay on the grass beside Silver and stroked her fur. How wonderful the love for an animal is. It is innocence and trust in its purest form. No ego attached, their love was exchanged without fear of embarrassment or hurt. Petting her friend relaxed Enid and as she gazed into her trusting eyes Enid felt her heart swell.

"Ja vuk te," Enid said to Silver as she and the pup stretched and fell asleep. 'I wolf you.'

#

That night Enid's frequent nightmares woke M. She came and sat at her bedside, stroking her head until she was calm. 

Over breakfast, M eyed her, her brows creased with worry.  

"Did it take you long to fall back asleep?" she asked.

Enid shrugged. "A little. It usually does after I have a bad dream, I'm sorry I woke you." 

M waved away her concern. 

"Enid, I know wherever you came from wasn't a happy place. I have eyes in my head, a brain between my ears. Happy children don't run away from their homes. Your past is your own. If you want to share it, if it will help, it's your choice. The most important thing to remember is that whatever happened is in the past. They're only memories now and they have no power over you. We say 'quiet water wears down a shore'. With time, anything is possible, even peace."

Enid found comfort in her words. It was the same thing she explained to Nikola when he learned of her past. Those horrors were behind her now and talking about it, thinking about it only did her harm. She couldn't change what she experienced; she could only change how it impacted her now. However, it was much easier in theory.

The nightmares would still come and invade her subconscious at night, they always would. But she was growing strong enough not to let it impact her during the day. She was living a beautiful life here with M and her beasts. She was able to love without fear of pain. The animals could be trusted with all her secrets and private heartbreak. M was her rock. Strong and stubborn, kind and loyal, she showed Enid what a mother should be. She wasn't her friend; she made Enid do things she didn't want to do. She did it all for the benefit and happiness of Enid.

Her life had meaning here. She was able to heal, not just because she was given a safe and loving home, although it helped. The fact was she was living a life where she was able to give of herself, where she was appreciated. She knew loving and caring for the animals had saved her. She was needed and it made her whole again.

Enid looked at M and said, "Ja vuk te," I wolf you. She couldn't say the real words, but this was close enough.