How To Save A Life

Chapter Thirteen: Broken

When we were younger things were simpler. What we see is what we think. In doing things we never thought of the consequences we just do it because we wanted to do it. The want was driving us and there were no what-ifs holding us. What we have was enough.

He fluttered his eyes open as her sleeping face welcomed him and soon he felt a lump on his throat. He gently pulled himself away as he grabbed his clothes and put it on except for his shirt. He then walked to her door, every step was excruciating like soon he will fall into pieces. He felt like he could no longer make it to where he intended to go. He then leaned on the wall for support.

He stopped for a moment as he pushed himself to walk once more. He stared at her living room that was lighted by the moon’s rays. He stared at it for seconds. He stared at his things, her robe as he let out a bitter smile that slowly drifted to a bitter chuckle as he walked to the sofa.

It was funny how he slumped himself on the floor instead on the sofa as he was leaning on it. He stared blankly in the air. Tears slowly fell in the corners of his eyes as he felt like his breathing was getting painful and his heart’s pounding was like killing him softly, each seconds.

For the first time in his life, he started to sob, he started to cry.

He was crying because it hurts. He was hurting so much.

It was so painful that his chest was constricting, he clutched his chest as his nails scratched on his skin, making it red and swollen. He pounded his chest as he continued crying hard, crying silently to himself. How can something this painful exist? How can this pain be true?

He raked his hair as he cried harder like a child that lost his way home. He wiped his tears as he ran his fingers on his hair. His gaze lifted as he saw their portrait in front of him, smiling, mocking. ‘Seunghyun,’ he whispered. ‘Seunghyun!’ he gritted as his hand pounded on the wooden floor as he started crying once more.

Then at that moment he finally knew he was in love. He was in love with her. He loves her and it hurts so much.

For the first time on his life he finally felt so much pain that he felt like his body was numbing, his vision was getting blurry. He pushed himself to stand up as he wiped his tears. For all the while he thought he was making love with her, he wasn't even the one inside her head. Pathetic. Really Pathetic.

Why does everything got to hurt? Why does when you realize love soon you’ll realize pain and it wasn’t any ordinary pain, it was pain that seemingly got no cure. It wasn't a simple pain coming from a simple cut or wound, it was a pain coming from someone you love. A kind of pain that cuts deeply within. Something that doesn't scar your body but your heart and sould instead.

He let out a small chuckle. But he knew about it. He knew about everything. How the world revolves, how people love, hate and fall. He knew about every little thing that everyone was feeling. He’s not a child for Christ’s sake! He knew everything. He was not dumb for Pete's sake! He was aware of it. He was a genius, he was a fucking genius!