Never Have I Ever: A PART TWO: I LET YOU SLIP THROUGH MY FINGERS

Chapter 1: I Let You Through My Fingers

Scene 1: This is How I Lost You

Ben's heart thumps dangerously. It feels like it's sinking, crushing in his chest, and his lungs drowning from how hard it is for him to breath. He picks up pace, rushing turning corners of buildings and almost smacking into someone as he cuts a corner quickly. Ben twists his wrist around to check the time for the millionth time on his watch, cringing knowing he is this late again. If not, worst then last time. Being late was nothing new for him these days, nothing new when he and Devi were to be meeting. And that was the defeating problem in their lifes right now. The huge problem that caused Devi and he to have argued explosively the last time. He feels the goosebumps rise on his skin as he finally reaches the coffee shop he is meant to meet Devi in. He is terrified he will get there and... find her seat will be empty. That she won't be there. He feels himself panic, and takes a deep breath in before he opens the door, hearing the bell of the door ring as he opens it, sounding eeirly loud to him, as if his sense were magnified. He doesn't even notice the person pushing past him as he steps inside, his eyes searching the shop for Devi. And yet somehow he can already feel she is not there, like emptiness sweeping through him. As he continues to search, his body has already lost hope. It's like ice runs through his veins, and he bearly has the energy to stand, so he grabs the nearest chair and drops himself onto it. He presses his hands into his eyes as he winces hard, utter destruction running through his body and torture in his mind. She's going to give up on me, he thinks to himself. How could I do this to her again? Last time this happened she had compared him to his dad, and that had burnt into his memories. And I still managed to stuff this up again, he torturously reminds himself. He knows he has let her down, and right now he feels like he might die. He sat there in his suit, shoulders slumped, rubbing his forehead anxiously as his mind tortured him some more. Eventually a waitress approaches and stops to serve him, pad and pen in her hand.
"Hello, what can I get for you?" She asks, he doesn't notice her voice sounds sorrowfully concerned. He doesn't look up, as he realises where he is, that his still sitting a in coffee shop. He just shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed, eager for her to leave him alone. So he just says anything.
"Yeah. Ahhh. Coffee, sure." He replies drudgingly. She still just stands there. As he notices she hasn't gone, he slowly looks up, a confused frown on his face. She breaths out a short sigh.
"You missed her just a short while." She said softly, eyes tragically looking at him. His eyes widened alittle, as he realised she had been talking about Devi and had known she had been here. "She was here for a long while waiting for you. She looked just as broken as you do right now. I hope you guys can work it out." She gives him a sad smile, then walks off with his order. Ben's frown still lingers on as he looks back at his table, letting her words process. 'She had been waiting a long time.' This crushed Ben even more. He needed to find her, and he needed to do it now. He jolted out of his seat, walked over to the waitress and paid for his coffee, leaving her a tip, and walked out knowing where he would find Devi right now. In her Princeston University dorm. He was heading there right away.

SCENE 2: The Argument Not Won

Wearingly walking down the corridor to where Devi's dorm room is, Ben notices her roommate stepping out backwards as she speaks with whom he'd assume is Devi. The roommate, a short sturdy girl with dark hair and a gothic look, slightly turns and slowly notices Ben walking her way. Her eyes dart to him and she confusedly frowns, a little smile starting to begin to play on her face.
"Ahhh. Your boyfri- ... I mean your ex is coming." She calls out back into the room, then turns her attention back on Ben, who winces slightly at her comment. As he reaches the door the girl teasingly smiles at him, placing a hand on his shoulder and looks him directly in the eyes, holding his gaze.
"Good luck my dude. Your going to need it." She says with a smirk, and brushes past him, walking off, leaving him feeling a little baffled at her smug demeanor, but then painfully numb as her words sink in. And as it does sink in, his hands begin to slightly stiffen, but he reminds himself to get himself under control. He feels this is his last straw because frankly this has not been the one or two or three times he has either turned up late or not at all, it happens all the time. Painfully he remembers the day when he wasnt there for Devi when she had desparately needed him on her visit to Malibu on the anniversary her father had passed away. He remembers. It was a gut wrenching painful memory for him. Her eyes, seared into his memory, how eerily sad they looked, like someone had twisted a dagger into her heart. He had done that to her. And it destroyed everything in him. She depended on him that day and he had let her down. His heart wrenched painfully within inside him. He couldnt bare to loose her, and for a while after that he had not let her down, burning with the desire for her to never give up on him, giving up on any plans to make sure he was there. But then it all came crashing back down, after his father had given him a promotion to work beside him. His hours long, and the opportunity to spend more time with his dad, Ben broke. He was scared to see how hurt she was this time, and so he slowly makes his way to the door, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. As he makes his way in he peers up to see Devi, her back turned to him taking some clothes out of a bag and folding them neatly away. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. It feels like his voice is lost. She doesnt turn around but she knows he is there and let's out an angered sigh.
"What do you want Ben?" She says angrily.
He bit down on his lip nervously and his eyebrows furrow as he forces his froozen mind and voice to do something.
"I don't know Devi, Im sorry. I'm sorry I was so late." He says softly. She stops and pauses, her shoulders tense. Then she suddenly swings round to him.
"Really? You are? Then why do you keep doing it to me?" She snaps at him, eyes flickering over him.
"I don't do it on purpose Devi! You know that!" He calls back getting defensive. She just shakes her head angrily, frowning at him.
"Oh really? Your just being a prick then. You can't help but leave me hanging around all the time!" She yells. He steps closer to her.
"Well if you just came with me to Harvard then I wouldnt need to travel over 4 hours a day to see you, would I?" He snaps back.
"You know perfectly well why I didnt go! Besides I wanted Princeston, and im not going to change that for you!" She yells.
"But we could of been studying together, closer. Isn't that what you want?"
She looks even more furiously at him now.
"I didn't get in Ben! And your stupid idea that you could somehow get your dad to use his links to get me in somehow, was just... unbelievable!" She snarled, flames in her eyes.
"I just wanted you to be there with me, I would do anything for you to be there with me." He said more softly this time. And he wants to tell her but he can't get it out, because his in love with her and he wants to be with her closer all the time. She glares and shakes her head at him.
"Your unbelievable. What if Princeston is where I want to be. Why do I have to follow you? Even if I did get into Harvard?"
He looks at her torn. But every bit of his body wants to hold her, hold her close. She looks angry, but she also looks like she's loosing all hope. As he walks over, he lingers his eyes over her, wishes her face would soften, and slowly but carefully goes to take her hand. She lets him for a little while as she watches him with those hurting eyes, her breathing laboured. Then she suddenly lets go, crossing her arms. He notices her eyes welling with tears. And as she bursts past him to walk out the door, she wipes her tears away. "We are done." She says, as Ben catches her by the wrist. His heart breaks when he hears those words, but he wants her to desparately take it back. He pauses and flickers his eyes over her, not knowing what to do. Then he pulls her into him, crashing his lips onto hers, then kissing her tenderly as he pulls her tightly into him. He wants to pour back all hope between them. He wants to breath a fire back into what they once had. He wants to ignite a flame back in her veins, feel her body go warm, feel her face in his palms warm like his breathing back life and hope into her. He wants her to be his, he doesnt want to let go. And for a short while he thinks she may have changed her mind because she doesn't resist, but it is not until she suddenly pulls away forcefully, almost sending him back, that he knows.
"Ben! No! We need to stop!" She cries, tone full of angst. She glares at him for a short while before turning and sorrowfully dashes off, disappearing from the room, leaving him there standing on his own. Ben feels his stomach twisting and his heart sinking, he begins to wonder if his going to have a nervous break down. He feels as though this is the end. And he doesnt know if he can breathe.