Never Have I Ever: A PART TWO: I LET YOU SLIP THROUGH MY FINGERS

Chapter 8: Part 1 and Part 2

Ben is captivated as he watches as Devi sleeps peacefully beside him. To wake up to see her, to linger on the curve of her face as she serenely lays there beside him. It is inexplicable how he could feel so much for her. And his heart is beating for her, hard in his chest, yearning for her to stay beside him, to feed the warmth that nourishes between them. There is a filfulment that he cant explain, that Ben craves to keep, that he wants to draw and lock in his heart. Her face is inches away from his, her breath ghosts over him as she sleeps soundly, and the sound of her breathing is comforting. He wants to gaze at her, memorize her, capture her intricate details like a photo, and absorb it within him. And he is mesmerised how she could be so stunning as she sleeps. A strand of her hair falls over her face, and he slips an arm out to brush the strand behind her ears. As he does so the blanket lifts up alittle and he captures a glimpse of his sweater she wears from being with him the previous night. His in love with her. And he knows it. And his scared. His scared of her. And scared of her impulsive nature. His known her for so long, and always knew how to handle Devi. But he lost her once. And maybe his just fearful he could loose her again, and this time it will be for real. So, he will just have to try. He notices she starts to wince, squeezing her eyes shut, then shifts slightly to the side, and her arms come out to stretch, while she lets out a yawn. She hums as her eyes begin to flicker open, and when her eyes catch Ben's she softly smiles at him, and he feels like he could loose it in that moment, his heart exploding in his chest. He cups her cheek, running his thumb over it, and wants to pull her in to kiss her. So he lifts himself up to tilt her face to him, hovering over her, and leans in and covers his mouth over hers. His kiss is hungry, tasting her like he wants nothing else in the world. And then he runs his hand through her hair, feeling he wants more. She tightly grips his shoulders, then runs a hand down his back and curls it around his shirt to pull him to her.
"Ben." She mumbles through their kiss, then he begin to drag his kiss down her neck. "What time is it?" She questions, voice still raspy from waking. He continues on kissing her neck.
"I don't know. Why?" He asks, running a hand under his jump she wears to pull it off.
"Because your work remember?" She says, as his lowering his kiss to her neck line, and it makes her laugh softly, feeling it tickle.
'No, I don't remember that." He says playfully, as he brings his kiss back up to her lips. She pulls him back alittle, hands flexing on his chest. His eyes trace over hers, and they look painfully at her like he wants her to let him go back to kissing her, feeling her on his lips.
"Ben. Work remember." She says looking at him slightly amused how his pouting at her right now. He squeezes his eyes shut then drops himself backwards into bed next to her, covering his face with his hand like it's the end, letting out a disappointed groan.
"Can I not convince you, Devi?" He moans, rubbing his eyes. She sits up, and looks at him amused.
"That depends." She says, and instantly an eye shoots open. Then the next does too, and now his got his full attention on her.
"Depends on what?" He questions, confused.
"If you won't tell anyone why your late." She says, seriously. His eyes widen eagerly, and he moves in on her again eyes turning dreamy.
"Easy." He says, eyes flickering over hers. But before he presses a kiss on her, she stops him again.
"And if you come with me grocery shopping after your work. Because your cupboards are bare." She adds, an appalled tone in her voice. His lips curl into an amused smile.
"Ok." He replies, trying to lean in again, before she stops him again.
"And you must give Eleanor, Fab, and I, free rein to decorate this house today. We can be your interior designers." She says proudly.
"Your bribing me with sex? God, Devi, this is cruel. Anything else?" He huffs, gazing at her with questioning eyes, licking his lips eagerly waiting. She just beams at him and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, and she feels him melt into her as she crashes a kiss with him.
And it's not long after they make love that Ben hurriedly rushes to dress himself for work, but before dashing out the door, Devi gives him a peck and hands him some toast, and waves to him goodbye from the door. And now Devi has the day to make plans with her friends to go shopping, and do a make over on Ben's apartment. Because after their trip to the aquarium yesterday, Devi had a calmness and meditative space to think, and had a plan to surprise Ben that she had thought to move in with him into his New York apartment, and abandon her plan to move back to Los Angeles. She didnt want to loose him. He didnt want to loose her. And their dilemma was their distance. So, after a make over with her friends she had plans on telling him while they were to be having dinner. And now all she needed was to retrieve her phone, and call the girls. But it was to her suprise that as she picks up her phone and swipes the front screen, Devi already has a missed call and it wasn't from whom she expected. Her mom. She reads the text out loud.
"Devi, you need to call me, your mother. I am back from India. I will need you to come home sooner. Kalama has not been feeling well, and it would be good for her for you to be here. Please call me." And she feels her heart drop.

Part 2

As Ben arrives home, he finds Devi packing her things into her daffle bag. And his face instantly turns pale as though his seen a ghost. Ofcourse, his instincts then tells him she's acting out impulsively, and trying to run like she has done a few times before. She's hot and she's cold, and it drives him crazy. She turns to look at him, and at first she's softly gazing at him until she sees his face scrunching up into a frown, and he swallows roughly, his eyes deeply furrowed as he walks over to the kitchen to drop his things, then slides into a chair, dropping his face into his palms and rubbing his temple stressfully. He hides his face, not to look at her. She stops all she's doing and glares his way.
"I have to go back to Los Angeles Ben-" she begins, her voice shaky, before she's rudely cut off.
"Of course, because that's how you work Devi. God, do you only think about youself?" He groans harshly, not able to meet her eyes. Devi feels like her heart is been stepped on, and she can feel her veins start to bubble with anger.
"Wow! Is this how it's going to be?!" She bites back, crossing her arms furiously. Ben feels himself firing up too, and he sweeps his gaze to her now.
"I don't know Devi?! Is it?! I'm not the one running from us every second! You find an excuse to run from me every single time!" He snaps, holding his temple with his hand. Devi gasps, feeling it like a knife stabbing into her heart. She's so furious now, she feels the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I know what your trying to say Ben! You think me breaking up with you was just an excuse to run from you or something?! Do you understand what I went through? Without you?"
"No! Of course I can't because you wouldn't let me in. Not even now! You don't want to talk about what happened. You don't want to."
"How dare you?! You never made the time for me, so you don't deserve it now!"
"But at least I am trying! Unlike you. Right now." He feels his heart racing so fast, he feels it trying to rip out of his chest. And then he blurts out something he regrets. "You don't love me, you only love yourself."
And her face looks ripped. Her heart is ripped. She can't feel what's going on with her body because every part feels broken. And she needs to flee. She needs to bolt away, because she wants to be as far away from him as she possibly can. It feels like her body is flooding with emotions, and the only way out is through her tears. Her eyes well up and the tears are streaming down now. And she tightly grabs at her bag, and flees, grabbing at the door and slamming the door shut voilently behind her, it vibrates the walls. Ben cant breath. He can't move. He feels he may fall apart right there, right now. What just happened? He thinks to himself. And it feels like someone has reached into his chest and ripped out his heart. His stomach feels so sick, he thinks he might vomit. He can feel it in his throat, and even if he swallows it stays lodged there. At first he gets up to chase after her, but he cant... he cant. And he doesnt know why. What the hell just happened? He thinks again.
"Shit." He swears, barely able to breath, scrunching up his hands tightly.