feathers ↣ w. worthington iii

(23) Debt, Star Wars, and Gloom, Oh My!

"Anyone who's a great kisser I'm always interested in." Cher

Lilli and Peter spent the next few hours in the gym, letting out their emotions both by venting to each other and assaulting the punching bags. They finally decided to turn in for the night at quarter after three, and as soon as Lilli's head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.

Lilli now looked over at that pillow, wondering if she would ever sleep on it again. It had served her well— it was comfortable and not too hard and not too soft. But it was nothing compared to her usual bed, waiting for her multiple floors above her and most likely being used by some sick Kezing agent. If Lilli actually survived this thing and the Kezing agents were evicted, she would need to deep clean her room and get rid of the agents' stench.

A knock on Lilli's door tore her gaze away from the pillow and onto the door. "Come in!" She called as she went to stand in front of the mirror for perhaps the last time. She sighed at her reflection before looking at the door in the mirror. Ororo had opened it and poked her head through.

"It's time," she said, looking at Lilli with an unreadable expression. Lilli nodded her head in resignation, looking away from Ororo and back at her own reflection. She was getting deja vu from when Ororo would come get her before they'd go up and bring down some of the kids. Lilli wished that was all that they were doing.

Lilli sighed again as she left the mirror. She was doing an unnatural amount of sighing that morning— maybe she shouldn't have stayed up so late. But what did it matter? It's not like she was going to survive the day anyways.

Lilli followed Ororo out of the bedroom, not even bothering to give it a last farewell look. She wasn't feeling dramatic. She was feeling empty. Resigned. And not in the mood to mope over leaving her temporary bedroom.

"Do you remember the plan?" Ororo was asking. It felt like she was speaking from a mile away. Lilli nodded, but it didn't feel real. She felt like a ghost inhabiting her body. Completely dissociated from everything.

"The plan is there is no plan," Lilli found herself replying as she watched her feet. She was just wearing sneakers— she hadn't bothered to put on the uniform. What was the point? She'd rather be buried in her own clothes than some uniform. If they even found her body and she was given a burial.

"Yes. Improvise as you go. Jean will be trying to connect with you, so we will still be in contact," Ororo was saying. Lilli tuned her out. She already knew all of this. She didn't need to her any of it again.

Lilli watched her feet as they kept turning down hallway after hallway. Her white sneakers were dirty. She'd been meaning to clean them, but now she had no time. It didn't matter anyways. The fluorescents reflected in the linoleum floor, and Lilli could see her shadow beneath her. It looked almost like she was gliding. Like she was already a ghost.

"Lilli?" Ororo said, nudging Lilli's arm. She looked up at her best friend.

"What?"

"Are you even listening to me? To the plan?"

Lilli looked back down. "There's no point."

"Hey," Ororo said, stopping. She grabbed Lilli by the shoulders and looked straight at her. "Stop. Do not be like this."

"Like what?"

"Like you are already dead! You will survive this. You will come back home." Ororo tightened her grip on Lilli's shoulders as she stared deeply into her eyes. Lilli looked back at her apathetically. "You and Peter will get Kurt and Warren back here safely. Believe me."