Counting

DAY 1

Perhaps you wouldn't mind if I divide my story by days? I'll part it, though. Just so they wouldn't all seem to be too long or something. Would you mind? I'm doing it anyway.

Honestly now, though I encounter it everyday, takingn up a day in my life is always terrifying. Even the nights. It's even hard to tell which is worse.

I'm at school sitting on my seat in the chemistry lab. My friend Alister often had to pat me to calm down, as I have been looking left and right utterly anxious of what might come about. Something that might eat my face, though those things usually wouldn't. Or something that would take me down.

"Ms. Anderson? Really? Again? Right now?" Mr. Herbert, my Chemistry teacher, said. He must've noticed me fidgeting. Of course he did. "Pay attention, Garnet. It's not like something's going to kidnap you or something." He've said that for like a million times. Like all other teachers say to me.

It's actually pretty simple, looking at it that way. Nothing will take me away, like always. I've seen things, but they've shown no harm. The thing is, what if? What they're like, a warning? A sign? Am I missing something? Worrying about the 'stupid' (as thay've all called it) little things I see and all, it's been messing me up. It's unreal and all, I know. But these thoughts... It never not have passed through my mind.

I' just anxious, you know?

I tried to keep my attention to what is being taught to us, but fidgeting is actually pretty hard to avoid. Everytime I see something twitch or move, my attention would be carried out to that particular thing right away. But often it was just something small like my classmate just deciding to write something, or something fell down like a pen, or even someone just about to tie their shoelaces.

It's really difficult, and I try not to draw my attention to whatever for too long if I had.

What's worse is that everyone seem to have noticed it, and that they've started using it as some kind of tactic to make fun of me. And it's very stressful.

It's simple. They could never understand what it's like to be haunted by visions and voices, even with the full knowledge of it not being real. They're nothing more but ignorant retards, that's all. But even so, I continue to be more hurt by their actions than what I see, to be honest.

Well, maybe I could say that if I have actually experienced another ghoul-y thing again after a whole five minutes.

"Psst, hey," Alister whispered as she leans towards me. "Nothing yet, right?"

I grunted and leaned back, crossing my arms. "Hm, yeah..." I whispered back. Honestly, everytime she, or anyone, really, asks a question like that, it would always just make me feel stupid, especially if I respond.

"Really? Nothing?" And insistance. It would make me feel as if I'm pretending. As if I'm not being what I know what I'd be.

Often by so, I do not respond. I kept my back leaned back while my shoulders are shrugged and my arms are crossed.

Then I felt as if I've suddenly lost my hearing, and everything started to be a blur. I might be falling asleep but...

"Garnet? Garnet!" Mr. Herbert exclaimed, then my vision cleared out again. "Why are you screaming?"

I felt dumbfounded. Have I? I didn't open my mouth, did I?

I looked to my right seeing Aloster's face. She looks like she just heard an explosion, her hands covering, sealing her ears tightly as her eyes are closed tight.

Then slowly, she opened an eye then the other, uncovering her ears then looking at me. Her eyes were crawling with worry.

I took a look at the place and everyone else seem to have felt the same way.