Falling from Greatness

A - Chapter 1

"Mom and dad just left. We should be able to get there in time to help the boys get the house ready," Christina tells us. 

Today's the day. Lauren's coming home. 

I sink into the seat of the family van, exhausted, as Mike pulls away from the airport and gets on the highway. We just finished the South American leg of our tour. After Lauren's overdose, we cancelled two weeks worth of shows and didn't post on YouTube but she insisted we keep going. She said she would never forgive herself if we put everything on hold for her and were never able to get it back so that's what we did. 

It wasn't easy. Almost every single interview, comment or Q&A we got somehow always turned to the topic of Lauren. The lines that the label gave us to feed to the interviewers will forever be etched in my brain. 

"She's doing much better and appreciates all the well wishes she's getting." 

"Unfortunately, we can't go into details as it's not our story to tell. Lauren will tell it when she is ready." 

"No, she isn't quitting the band. She's just taking a break to prioritize her mental health." 

"Those are just rumors, they aren't true." 

She's been gone for thirteen long weeks and today we finally get our sister back. I look over at Dani who is nervously playing with her hands, the same way Lauren does when she's anxious. 

"You okay Dan?" I ask her. 

"Yeah, just you know...," she says trailing off. 

I nod, understanding. All of us are feeling anxious for Lauren to come home. None of us really know what to expect. While we visited her as often as we could and even did some therapy sessions with her, it's been a while since we've actually been able to just spend time with our sister. She's not as distant anymore but none of us fully trust her either. It's something that she says she understands but I saw the pain in her eyes when we told her that. Things are going to be a lot different now. Especially if she gets cleared to head back out with us for the European leg.

It seems too soon when our brother Mike pulls the van off of the highway and drives us into our small town just outside of Nashville. It's nice to see that the town hasn't changed much while we were away. It's good to have at least one thing that is constant in our lives. 

Within ten minutes, the van is parked in the driveway and Dani and I unload our bags. We decided as a family that it would be a good idea to have Dani and Lauren room together again, seeing as how their relationship is still really strained. She still hasn't forgiven Lauren for not coming to her before things got to the point that they did. For the time being, I'm staying with them in the family house, taking Dani's room. This was something that was my decision. I want to be there for both of them no matter what.  

It didn't take me long to forgive Lauren for everything that she did. Yeah, it hurt and it was stupid and selfish of her, but part of me understood what she was going through. Despite being outgoing, I get anxious much too often. It was a lot easier for me to understand and sympathize with her about this. While the older three girls understood that also, they also remember watching what addiction did to our family when Lauren, Dani and I were too young to understand what was going on. Everything we just went through with Lauren, they watched our aunt go through years earlier with a much less fortunate ending to it.

Katherine helps me carry my bags up to Dani's room where I throw them in the corner. Dani is already grabbing the things she claims that she can't live without. These items consist of her galaxy projector, Justin Bieber poster and ten of her favorite vinyls to give an idea of her priorities.

"Dani, she's not taking your room forever. It's only for the next month before we go back on tour. And you're just going to be in the next room," Lisa tells her as she dumps another armful of disorganization onto the floor of Lauren's perfectly put together room.

"I need these things Lisa!"

I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You need the cabin flag from church camp when you were seven?" I ask her.

Dani looks down at her pile.

"Okay maybe I don't need all this stuff but we're supposed to be sharing the room. That means it's half mine so I can do whatever I want to half of it."

"Just don't make any major changes without running it by Lauren, okay? We're supposed to be making this a smooth transition for her," Lisa says cautiously.

Dani responds with a grunt and an eye roll before making up the spare twin bed our parents put into the room for her. I leave her to it and head into the hall where Mike and Alex are holding drills. They are going through all the doors in the house, taking the locks off. This is something that none of us in the house are happy about. There's already minimal privacy when you are living with five other siblings but it was something my mom wouldn't budge on.

The only locks they leave in place are the ones leading to the bathrooms and the one on my parents bedroom door, all of which my dad has keys to, just in case. I help Christina move all of the wine glasses and few bottles of alcohol my parents have, along with every single type of medicine in the house, prescription or not, into my mom's closet. We are taking zero chances here. I make sure to lock our parents room door behind us when we're done.

"Anything else?" I ask Christina. She shakes her head.

"No, I think that's it."

We head downstairs and sit on the couch, watching Joey and Nick play video games for a bit.

"When are they supposed to be home?" Nick asks, not taking his eyes off the TV.

"Any minute now," Christina says checking her phone. "Are you guys excited?"

"Yeah, I miss her," Joey says. I look at my ten year old brother and the excitement in his face is easy to read. I wonder if he actually understands everything that happened. I reach over and scruff up his hair, distracting him enough to get him killed in their game.

"Amy!" he complains.

"You snooze you lose bro," Nick quips.

He turns around to high-five Christina as the screen declares him the winner.

"No fair! I want a rematch!" Joey shouts. But he gets distracted by the sound of the front door opening.

"We're back!" I hear my mom announce.

"Lauren!"

Both Joey and Nick run out of the living room for the front door. I take a deep breath trying to calm myself. Why am I so nervous?

"Ready?" Christina asks looking at me.

The answer is no but I just nod and stand up to welcome my little sister home.