DEAR DIARY.
In my head, I tell myself what I want to hear because am afraid of what's actually happening, something that's beyond my control.
They all ask me if am okay, and I answer 'am fine' but I am drowning in my mind where everyone I care about is slowly drifting away.
Is it something am getting used to? Am I going crazy without anyone noticing? Is this what they call normality?
Trying to handle everything in my own hands because I believe they're my own problems not anyone else's.
I've stopped fighting the wind because it's never going to agree to go in the same direction as me.
'If something or someone is for you, it will always be and if it's not, it will never be', why force it? Why go on with someone who is constantly making you feel sad and blue.
I tried so hard for us, I tried my best for you, something you have never noticed. I gave you my all and now there's nothing left.
You stole my heart only to tear it in two.
Divided by decisions,
Confused by the words you uttered when they were only lies.
I grew to be someone am not for someone who didn't even care at all. I'm living in the present when my mind is in the past.
I didn't know what I'll lose but was busy chasing away what would have lasted. I was blinded by fear of losing you, drowning in doubt, whether you loved me or even cared about me or whether we're going to last, and now I am struggling to be free.
It's funny how you're out there having another like I never existed like I was some old classmate in kindergarten.
Do you think I can easily forget something I cherished, something I thought was worth fighting for, something that flattered my heart?
Whenever I think of all the promises you made my heart stings, I thought we were meant to be,
But I guess it was just a fling.
Sometimes I daydream of you, suddenly I hit the concrete with a cold, hard, awakening, realizing that all this is gone.
These thoughts and feelings are excruciating,
Someone actually toyed with my feelings, and now I wallow in misery,
I am drowning in my tears, I can barely breathe at the simple thought of what I thought we had.
I feel like my tears are going to make my vision blur since it has become a daily routine.
I love you,
Those three words didn't mean a thing.
YOU ARE READING
The Depths Of My Heart
Short StoryA diary collection of my thoughts. At this moment my thoughts are my greatest threat. I can't bare to think of anything but the way my life is taking a huge turn and I have to comply. I'm becoming a slave in my own mind and am trapped inside. My hea...
