Domestic Vocaloid Adventures

Abandonment Issues

     Piko Utatane fiddled with his sleeve a little as he waited for his best (and only) friend, Len Kagamine, to get to class. He was beginning to get worried that he wasn't going to come when the boy in question entered the room and sat down next to his best friend.
     "Good morning," Len greeted with a smile.
     Piko nodded. "Good morning," he greeted back.
     Once they were settled in, Piko spoke up again. "Um...why weren't you answering my texts last night?"
     "I was at Oliver's house," Len replied promptly.
     "Oh," Piko tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. It didn't work.
     "What, are you jealous?" Len joked. "I have a life outside of you, you know."
     "Wh—What? I'm not jealous," Piko insisted. "I just like talking to my best friend!"
     Len laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Calm down, you're fine. I like talking to you too."
     Piko wanted to say something else but ended up not being able to because the teacher walked into class right after Len finished speaking. Next thing they knew and the lesson had started.
     Piko was just glancing over at his best friend the whole time. He knew Len was right. Len did have a life outside of him, and it was wrong of him to act like he was always entitled to his attention. It was selfish.
     Len said he likes talking to him, but he can't help but doubt that. Does he really? He can't really, not after he keeps bothering him.
     Len was just going to leave him eventually, this was something he had accepted, but wow, he was really speeding up the process now wasn't he?
     The day went on, and he tried his best to forget about it and do his schoolwork, but his worry was eating away at him. The rational part of his brain knew Len wasn't going to leave him over that one thing, but he couldn't help it. It was the only thing he could think about.
     Still, he did his best to push the thoughts to the back of his mind and be extra nice to Len the rest of the day, to hopefully undo his mistake. He gave Len his granola bar at lunch, because he knew Len liked to hoard food, and hopefully helping him with that would make him forget about earlier.
     Once the school day came to a close, Piko bid his best friend farewell and began to walk home. As he approached his house closer, he began to hear music in the distance, and eventually he got close enough to see a white truck come into view.
     It was the ice cream truck. A lot of people don't think ice cream trucks still exist anymore, but there was one here. They didn't have one in Piko's old city, so when he moved here he was absolutely floored when he heard the music for the first time.
     He was still feeling a bit hungry, seeing as he gave part of his lunch away, so he decided he'd buy something from the truck.
     He lined up behind the rest of the kids, realizing he was the oldest one there but deciding to ignore it, and fished around in his bag for some cash. He eventually found a few stray 100 yen coins floating around in there and decided that would do. When it was his turn to order, he ended up picking a banana flavored popsicle.
     Banana was his favorite flavor. It had been ever since he met Len, because it was also Len's favorite flavor.
     He remembers when the two of them bought ice cream together for the first time, and Len said banana was his favorite. He remembers ordering the same thing to see why he liked it.
     It's been his favorite flavor ever since.
     And he means that genuinely, he really does enjoy the flavor of banana, more than any other flavor, but deep down he wonders if he's just lying to himself.
     He traversed the rest of the way home but he just couldn't stop thinking about Len. He knows it's unhealthy, and he's probably just overreacting, but he can't help but think that their friendship is over.
     It's not over, he said to himself, you're just being dramatic, but his stomach hurt with worry.
     Today was the last straw. Len never even liked being his friend in the first place, but this was it, he was finally going to drop him. Len's put up with him for so long but he's just not going to be able to do it anymore. He's so annoying and weird, that's why everyone leaves him. They always do, and Len isn't any different. He shouldn't be trying to hold onto a relationship that isn't there.
     He should probably just stop talking to Len now so it doesn't hurt as much when he inevitably gets left behind again. He knows this, yet he can't bring himself to. Len just makes him so happy, he can't stop smiling whenever they talk. Len is his favorite person. Len is everything to him.
     He made his way home and unlocked the door. His foster parents weren't home yet, so he just tossed his backpack on the floor and headed to his room.
     He sat on his bed and took his phone out of his pocket. Unlocking it, he opened Instagram, and opened his DMs. Immediately, he sends a message to Len saying:

Hey, are you mad at me? It's
okay If you are, I understand.

     There's a green circle next to Len's name. He's active, but he hasn't read Piko's message. Piko chewed on a fingernail nervously. Oh god, he's so mad he doesn't even want to respond.
     Piko knew Len would respond eventually, he's not one to leave messages unopened, so now all he had to do was wait. He ended up going to Len's account and scrolling through all of his posts again. Just last week he posted a picture of the two of them together, it was when Piko came over to help him and Rin record a video for their YouTube channel. Miku had been busy, so he was the cameraman.    
     Len had come up behind him suddenly and snapped a picture of them when he wasn't expecting it. Piko hated that picture, but he was scared Len would get mad if he asked him to delete it. And maybe it was worth it, when he saw the caption.

Just spent the afternoon recording with my favorite person! Glad to have you over buddy!

     Piko felt his cheeks get warm reading the caption again. That should be proof. Proof that Len really cares. He wouldn't have done all that by surprise and written that if he didn't really care.
     Still, a voice in the back of his mind nags him, 'he's just doing all that so you'll help him. He doesn't actually care.'
     Then his phone buzzed, he got a DM from Len. It's short but sweet, and reads:

of course not why would
I be mad? are you feeling
okay?

     And Piko went weak in the knees hearing that. Len isn't mad at him, and more than that, he's worried if he's feeling okay! Everything is fine, this is fine.

Ah, yeah I'm feeling
alright.

     Feeling marginally better, he collapsed face first onto his bed and tossed his phone across the room. It probably damaged the case a little bit, but he could care less. All he could think about was that Len didn't hate him.
     But then again, he probably annoyed Len by asking him that. That was the real last straw, actually. He was safe until he asked if he was safe.
     He let out a long sigh and clutched his pillow to his chest, beginning to cry.
     They all leave him eventually, everyone does.

A/N Hey folks! This isn't abandoned, I just took a break because I was debating cutting out a subplot and I had other ideas I needed to crank out. This was actually sitting half finished in my google docs for a while so I dusted it off and finished it.

Anyways, I have mega abandonment issues so this is based on my own thought process. Yes, abandonment issues are like this. Making one mistake that isn't even a mistake and then focusing on it the whole day, being unable to think of anything else except how to fix it in order so the person in question doesn't leave you, even though they were never going to in the first place, and you know they never were but you just can't accept it. It's exhausting.

Why does Piko have abandonment issues? Find out in a later chapter lol.