𝚃𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗

𝚇 𝚅

BENNY's POV
MONDAY, JUNE 3, 2010
HERON TRL
1:58am

*PLEASE NOTE: THE BOLDED WORDS ARE APART OF BENNYS DREAMS*

Watching the blood drip down the sides of her face felt unreal. Seeing them cuff her and take her away from me without a second thought was like watching my mom walk away from me all over again. Nah it was actually worse.

Knowing what I did to him...watching myself commit sin felt so dreamlike. It felt surreal... but watching her ride away in a blaze of bright flashing lights hurt more than anything, especially knowing that it should be me back there. It hurt me more than my parents ever could have. The hurt feeling in my heart felt like the whole weight of the world standing on my shoulders. It was sickening. More sickening than seeing him lay there face down in a puddle of his own blood.

And the crazy part is...

I enjoyed it.

- {2 days before, 9:17pm}

"Who are you?"

A floating figure of a man outlined in bright white lights appeared in front of me. His face was distorted but his voice was like something I never heard before. It was deep and raspy yet soft and gentle, like a child.

"Don't be afraid. I'm going to show you something."

Beginning with my years as a baby, flashes of my life began to show before my eyes. It's like I was there but I wasn't. Like a ghost or some shit. I saw my mom and dad. I saw my first steps, my first words. My first time riding a bike. I saw Marcy. I was seeing all of these things that I didn't remember before. Then the flashes stopped on this one memory of me and my dad.

...a fist came flying in my direction...

I watched him hit me. Countless times. I watched him beat me without hesitation. Without remorse.

"Let me go!" I yelled at him.

I begged him to stop but he didn't.

"Go to hell."

Feeling the resentment and the anger I felt towards him stirred something in me. It made me realize why I acted the way I did with him when I woke up in that hospital bed. And my mom... man she broke me more mentally in that moment more than my dad ever did physically and that says a lot considering how often he abused me.

I looked at her in shock and my heart sank so low... "M-moma?!? What the fuck??"

My heart sunk further when I saw my mom just standing there watching him beat me.

Maybe if I try hard she'll save me. I reached out for her and I yelled her name over and over and I begged for her help.

...she turned around and disappeared leaving me with nothing but an unheard "I'm sorry"...

Seeing my mom standing in the door way like that just to turn around and leave me there with him. Seeing that she did absolutely nothing. She gave up on her will to fight for me when I couldn't fight for myself. In that moment I needed her more than anything and she turned her back on me.