Opalina Outpost

Chapter 28: Sacrifice

Ravi was the last one left on the lawn as the crew dragged themselves off to sleep. He lifted his hand in a mute gesture to Jossen as the subal glanced back to wave before disappearing into one of the residences. Then he was truly alone. Night glazed the sky in starless shadow.

No point trying to plan further until the Commissioners made their announcements. At the very least, it'd be clear where they all stood tomorrow. At least in regards to assignments. He wasn't sure that the announcements would do anything at all to clear up the mess in other parts of his life. Reluctantly, his gaze slid to the door to Lio's room. The round window beside the door was dark, no lights on within.

He took a step toward it anyway, and then stopped, fingers drumming uncertainly against his thighs. Lio had tried to warn him over and over again that once he went back to his family, things were over. On some level, he understood it. Painful as it was to admit. The ride back from arguing with the Commissioners for hours had given him plenty of time to consider the weight of the expectations on Lio's shoulders. Expectations for his whole life and the way he would live it and what kind of person he would live it with. Lio reached out and grabbed the things he wanted, but he wasn't reaching to keep Ravi. Not a surprise that the Suzerain's son couldn't see a future with him.

And yet.

Lio cared about him. When he'd pushed Ravi back to speak to the Commissioners, fierce belief had been written all over his face and vibrated in his voice. Making Ravi demand the recognition that he might've otherwise spent his whole life waiting for and missing. Asking him that question. Lio's swift, "what are you waiting for" had speared into his guts and slammed up his spine and unraveled all of his uncertainty. That same question still echoed in his head. He drifted closer to Lio's door.

It was possible he was about to encounter a man who saw no way forward with him. But if that was the truth, he'd know tonight or he'd know tomorrow and it would eviscerate him all the same. Ravi had faced the Commissioners and fought for his crew's right to the lightship. Being with Lio mattered more than a million lightships, and damn if he didn't want to fight for that chance too.

Holding his breath, he tapped his knuckles against the door. No answer. Another try, a little louder, and he heard a faint stirring inside the room.

"Can we talk?" Ravi asked through the door.

A paralyzed heartbeat of silence followed, and then the barrier skimmed out of the way.

Lio retreated from the threshold to let him in. "Ravi," he started, and cleared his throat. Then he just nodded, as if agreeing with something that hadn't been said.

"Hey," Ravi said. Lio looked like shit. His eyes had a feverish sheen and the delicate skin beneath them looked bruised. "Are you—" He didn't finish it. Lio was not alright. His dream had been stripped from him.

"I suppose I need sleep."

"Yeah. I...won't keep you long." He winced even as the meaningless phrase left his lips. It was so perfectly wrong. He wanted to keep Lio for every single minute of their lives. "I just...Thank you. For what you said."

"What I said to the Commissioners wasn't half the praise you deserve."

"No, I—that was wonderful of you. But I meant for...for making me go back to them. For not letting me give up. For asking me why I was waiting."

Lio gave an exhausted shrug and fumbled a smile. "I was raised in family that believes in arguing until you get your way." His smile collapsed a moment later, and he rocked backward. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you more about them. Not that it matters now—"