Asterism

33. love me

AS they agreed, after Aiden's game Marley and Gabby had a long overdue FaceTime call.

Marley spoke to her best friend outside the balcony of she and Aiden's bedroom, for privacy from her boyfriend catching up on more homework in the kitchen. And aside from a twenty minute break to eat a plate of cheese, crackers and salami Aiden brought out for her — and confirmed that she ate by creepily peeking out the window every ten seconds — Marley and Gabby filled every minute of almost two hours with confessions and doubts and reassurances and advice.

Marley hated Gabby's tears when she confessed her eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and Gabby hated the way Marley's expression scrunched in pain when she told her that after confessing to Ethan in his dorm that she had cheated on him, and then apologized for whatever it was worth — he took one second to process before telling her that he never wanted to see her face again.

They were both ashamed of those demons, both afraid to tell the other how flawed they had become and the ruins they had left behind, but once the opening up was over the relief followed. The healing began as they consoled each other the way only they knew how. At Yale last weekend they agreed to talk more, and this was the first step they had taken since. It gave Marley so much comfort in herself and that emotion felt so good after all that college had done to take away her self-esteem.

"Oh come on! 'He did something.' That's all I get?!" Gabby questioned, incredulous. She threw a piece of Smart-food popcorn at the screen. "It's ME, Mar."

Marley blushed a little deeper, shooting a quick glance towards the balcony doors before lowering her voice to a whisper. "It's just...you're going to think it's...weird. And rightfully so! It was weird. And I still don't know how I feel about it!"

Gabby rolled onto her stomach and set the laptop down in front of her, her knees bent and her legs crossed at the ankles behind her. "Okay. Tell me this. Did you actually, have sex?"

Marley curled her knees up to her chest, praying that Aiden wouldn't check on her anytime soon. He'd take one look at her face, smirk, and she'd have to hide in a tiny igloo in Alaska for the rest of her humiliating days. "No," she shook her head, picking at a string on her jeans. "Nothings changed since we talked about it at Yale."

Gabby's eyebrows raised. "Oh. So he...went south?"

Marley struggled to lower the volume of her laptop, frantically mashing the button until she could barely hear her best friend's words anymore. She gaped at the screen after that. "Y-you too? I mean...Ethan?"

Gabby snorted. "God no. But Jamie..."

Marley watched her best friend blush with complete shock coating her features. "Why are you acting like it's so normal?!" She demanded in a whisper.

"Because it is," Gabby bit her lip against a laugh. "I'm sorry, Mar. I just can't imagine you in that...situation...with Aiden. You're so....um...you."

"Aiden said that same thing yesterday! That I'm 'so me.' What does that even mean?" Marley grumbled, hugging herself in her jacket when a cold breeze hit. "Maybe I don't want to know."

Gabby giggled. "I'll answer you with a question. Was one of the first things you said to him after the fact about bacteria?" Marley blushed a little deeper, and her best friend noticed right away, smiling knowingly as she popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth. "Mystery solved."