I'll Be Your Soldier (Before You Exit)

I Promise

I cried and cried until I heard the door open I was to lazy to get up and I knew they would find me up here.

Not long after toby walked through my door and layed down next to me. I move over he hugged me and we just cried.

Eventually Connor and Riley came into and we all lay on my bed hugging and crying with each other.

That night we didn't get much sleep. We all lay awake talking about our parents and how much we loved them and they loved us.

The next morning.

We didn't move fom my bed until about lunch time. Connor and Toby had fallen asleep so it was just Riley and I. We walked downstairs to the kitchen and Riley made us some food.

"Does Poppy know?" He asks me.

"No she has family visting this weekend so I'll tell her later."

"Oh."

We took our food into the lounge and talked for a while until Connor came down and asked Riley if he could go with him it sort details for our parents funeral.

I walked back upstairs just after they left and as I was getting closer to my door I heard screaming. I ran through the door and Toby was asleep but was having a nightmare. I run over to him a shook him so he would wake up.

"Toby, Toby wake up its just a nightmare." I whisper.

"Grace."

"Yeah I'm here." He didn't say anything just curled up in a ball and cried. I sat down next to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Grace I'm never leaving you again."

"You have to silly you have to go make your fans happy and tour the country I'll be find."

"Right so the marks on your wrist tell me you'll be fine, Grace I know what your going through." He says pulling his hoodie jacket up and showing me his wrists.

We don't say anything just hug each other. 10 mintues later I brake the silence.

"We'll be ok we'll get through this together." I say its good to have him back I feels like my life is getting better even though were going through a hard time.

We laid in bed until we heard Connor and Riley get home. We walked downstairs to see them still standing by the door.

"Hey guys.' I say pulling my hoddie selves down just to make sure they don't see and out the corner of my eye I see Toby doing the same.

'Hey Gracie you ok?" Conner asks.

"Yeah I'm good." I say as they walk away.

"Yeah I'm good too thanks for asking." Toby says as he walks back upstairs. Of course to top of the hate he get his brothers forget that he's here and he feels invisible. I walk back up the stairs as well making sure Toby's ok. I find him sitting in Mum and Dad's room looking at the picture that sits next to their bed.

I walk over and sit next to him.

"This was the best summer." Toby says. The picture is from the last summer before the band happened we went to LA for the summer and did the theme parks and hung out in Huntington Beach. It was the last time we went away as the family.

"Yeah I wish we could do that again." I say resting my head on his shoulder. "Toby do the boys always ignore like they did today."

"Sometimes, they just forget I'm there its like in invisible.' 'Grace am i invisible."

"No Toby your not invisible your the main reason why I'm still sitting here."

"What do you mean."

"After you left my world went down hill and quickly. Bethany started bullying me mentally and physically, fans started giving me hate like they do to you but worse and I considered taking my own life more than once."

"Grace why didn't you tell me this."

"Because I didn't think you would understand and I thought you would think I was a freak and stop talking to me I was scared."

"Grace no matter what you do I will always be there for you and I will always love you." "Your one of the main reasons I'm still sitting here too."

"After we left the boys shut me out everything they did they didn't tell me about I used to lay in my bunk and think about how the boys didn't love me, I used to read the hate and it pushed me over the edge and then I thought of you, how I loved you and how I need to be there for you and how much you needed me." He explains I just hug him crying into his chest.

"I can't lose you again." I say

"And you won't." "I promise."

Just then Connor and Riley walked through the door.

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask.

"Enough to know that we were jerks to you, Toby and we're sorry and that we should both have been looking out for you both." Connor says.

They come over and we group hug.

"Mum and dads funeral is on Monday.'' Riley says. This means I have to tell Poppy.

"Riley can you ring Poppy's parent please I can't do it." I say lying in Toby's lap.

"Yeah sure." He says getting up and leaving.

"We actually have to say goodbye to them, I can't, life's never going to be the same again." Toby says trying to hide the tears that were spilling from his eyes.

"Hey it's alright to cry stop trying to hide it and we'll get through this together remember." I say lifting my hand up and turning his face to look at me and wiping the tears away from under his eyes.

"Together." He's whispers.

"Together." I whisper back. I look over at Connor to see him heart broken seeing his little brother cry.

"Hey you over there smile this is a time to celebrate their life and be happy not sad you know they wouldn't want us too." I say pointing to him with my foot.

"Your right, how about we go out for dinner tonight?" He says.

"Good plan." I say just as Riley walks through the door.

"All done, Poppy said she'll be over later." He says smiling.