Hot Flash Fiction: Perimenopausal Musings

Perusing the Personals

I'm six feet tall with brown eyes and blonde hair. I work in tech but have a wide variety of interests. I like all genres of music and enjoy going out to hear live music but also equally enjoy staying home for a quiet night in front of the fire with a glass of wine.

I'm equally comfortable in a suit and tie or jeans and a t-shirt. I would love someone who would dress me up.

I'm an excellent cook. My specialities are pasta sauces, healthy stir-fries and chocolaty desserts, but honestly if you put a cook-book in front of me, I'll make it happen.

I enjoy long walks on the beach and laughing over coffee. I'm good at distinguishing between different varieties of wine, but I'm not a big drinker. When it comes to alcohol, I can take it or leave it.

I'm have a certification in massage therapy I've never used but would be happy to work out the knots in your back after a long day of work.

I'm an attentive lover. I will try my best to make your wildest fantasies come true, but I'm also more than happy to just hold hands or cuddle.

Family is important to me, though I don't have any family myself. I'm open to having kids and would love being a father, but I don't have my heart set on it.

I'm patient, liberal-minded, and a good listener. I never get bored.

I will love you at any weight and deal with your mother when she calls.

I will pamper you to your heart's content. I will do all of the cleaning and laundry. I will stop talking when you tell me to and never ever get mad at you. My only wish is to see you smile.

Stacy went back to the physical qualities tab and switched the hair from blonde to brown and the eyes from brown to blue. Then she took a deep breath and submitted her order.

She was so sick of perusing the personals and trying stupid dating apps trying to find Mr. Right. As a professional woman established in her career, it was time to pony up and get what she wanted. She had read Consumer Reports and talked to several colleagues. This model was the highest quality robotic husband money could buy.

Besides, it wasn't like her friends with old-fashioned human husbands were particularly pleased with their choices after the honeymoon phase of the marriage wore off and the reality of life with two kids and a mortgage hit.