Hot Flash Fiction: Perimenopausal Musings

Deviant Dilemma (#question)

Rex loosened his collar a notch. The conversation had turned serious and the whole evening was ruined. No, make it the whole week, month, and year too. Every last bit of enjoyment in the world seemed to have drained away.

"I'm just saying we should consider how offensive it is in our current political climate," said Catherine. She commanded, neigh, demanded attention and respect when she spoke. No one dared question her.

Well, to be honest some did, but not without dire consequences. 

"So what are you a goddess then?" sneered Brian. Or it would have been a sneer but he didn't dare make eye contact with Catherine. Everyone braced for her response.

Her footsteps echoed through the room as she walked across the stone floor to where Brian sat leaning against the wall. She slowly bent down close to his face in that menacing way that sends shivers down your spine.

"I could live with that," she snapped.

"Come on, everything we do is offensive." Mark spoke now, out of character and more like the exhausted middle-aged manager of a failing company that he was.

"We have standards here," shouted Catherine.

Mark took his iPhone out of the back pocket of his leather pants. The group gasped at the scandalousness of this action. He glanced at it briefly. Catherine looked annoyed.

"Look, the air quality index is 513 right now in downtown Portland," he slid his phone back into his pants and reached for his shirt. "I mean, normally I'm fine with a little asphyxiation, but this is ridiculous. I think we should call it quits tonight, and literally save our breath."

A collective groan from the group signaled both agreement and dismay that everything seemed to conspire against having some fun. First the pandemic, now the wildfires. 

Catherine's resolve wilted at last. "Fine. It was stupid to try to meet tonight anyways." She kicked off her heels and snatched the large gothic-looking key ring hanging by the door. 

Marcy rubbed her wrists after Catherine unchained her from the wall and removed the gag from her mouth. 

"Don't beat yourself up Catherine, we were all going stir-crazy at home," said Marcy. "But, I have to ask. What made you question your role?" 

Catherine took a few water-bottles out of the mini fridge sitting in the corner and passed them around. The group gulped them eagerly to get the pervasive taste of smoke out of their mouths. 

"You know, Fred and I finally started working with an architect for the house renovation we've been talking about for years," explained Catherine. "He let us know we won't be able to rebuild the garage that abuts the property line. I said something about the current one being grandfathered in and the architect chewed me a new one for using such a racist term." 

"You can't say jerry-rigged anymore either," said Steve, taking off his wig and wiping his forehead. "My daughter taught me that last week when I was trying to make an air purifier with duct tape and a box fan."  

"If we are going to support the protests, and promote diversity, equity and inclusion in every facet of our lives, we have to talk the talk and walk the walk," said Catherine.

"Fine," said Brian. "All in favor of Goddess Catherine over Mistress Catherine say 'I'." 

A unanimous cheer rose from all but one.

"But is puppy play still ok?" asked a small voice. The group turned to Rex, trembling and on the verge of tears in his corner.

Another cheer of approval revived his spirits. He barked and rolled on his back in delight.