Tug-at-your-heartstrings new adult first love story.
What starts as a bet to avoid cleanup duties at her minimum wage cashier job, wins Amelie D'Amico more than she's ever hoped for.
When Ben, a cute customer who always checkouts at her register, fi...
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"What if I told you we met over a year ago, at the bar near the UChicago campus, the same night you and Xavier got together."
What? Now Ben isn't making sense. It must be contagious.
"I would've remembered meeting you." I'm pretty good at spotting hot guys, although I was on my third shot of Tequila when Xavier came over, and he was my sole focus for the rest of the evening.
"You need some privacy for this conversation. Ben, please, take Amélie to my office and close the door," Marguerite orders. Someone with a shred of decency at this table. Ben's mom is growing on me more and more. I can see us becoming friends and having some no-nonsense heart-to-hearts. Whatever happened has to do with my ex, that is painfully clear, and I don't need an audience when I drudge up that painful mistake.
Ben balls his white linen napkin,throws it by his plate, and gets up. My anxiety grows with each step that leads us through the living room and into an airy home office with a cluttered desk by the wall and a cello in front of a wide tall window. He stands to let me pass, pauses behind, and closes the door. Unsure of what to do, I take a couple of steps toward the center of the room. He follows. As if to steady himself or me, he puts one hand on my arm, pinches his nose and closes his eyes with a guilty air of someone who has a lot of explaining to do. I can't wait to hear it.
"I was there. Mike and Xavier dragged me to that bar in another attempt to force me into the dating scene."
I was right. Xavier was involved and probably not in a good way. How well do they know each other?
"Wait." I raise a hand to give myself a moment. "You know Xavier? Are you friends with him?" I bite my lip. What do I want the answer to be? What do I do if Xavier and Ben are close friends, and he chose to hide it from me?
Ben's eyes open, dart to mine then to the window. "Yes, I know him. Xavier, Mike, and I were at the same dojang for a while, and we go to the same gym. Xavier was never a friend, an acquaintance at best. Mike and he were buddies and had a Saturday night prowling the bars tradition." Ben lowers his eyes, removes his hand, and takes a step away from me as if putting space between us would help him with what he's about to say. A sick feeling pools in my stomach, mixing with the ravioli.
"That night the moment we got to the bar, I noticed you, laughing with your two friends. So radiant. When Xavier asked me if there were any girls at that place that I liked—I pointed at you."
Ben's body is tense; his mouth opens and closes as if he's unable to decide what to say next. He clenches and unclenches his fists. Whatever it is he's not going to enjoy relaying the information to me. But I need him to say it. I need to know. Until he explains things, I can't be sure of anything I thought I knew about Ben.
He turns away, runs his hand over the short buzz of his hair, and faces the large window. His shoulders hunch up, and the silhouette of him by the cello against the gloomy grey sky with the cityscape below looks like an image from one of my favorite Italian black-and-white movies. Antonioni, probably. A scene right before a horrible confession happens. A shiver runs through me and brings out goosebumps along my arms. What am I afraid of?
Ben caresses the instrument, and several more seconds pass. His shoulders relax.
"When Mike and Xavier tried to make me talk to you, I wouldn't. Could not. You were so out of my league. My previous attempts at talking to girls or asking them out ended in humiliation. So, Xavier decided to show me how it was done and approached you himself. The plan was for Xavier to get you and your friends over to our table and for all six of us to hang out, so I could talk to you. That's not what ended up happening."
Xavier was there with Ben. For Ben? And instead, he what, stole me for himself?
"You were there?" I say. Dumbfounded, my mind reels with this new info. I'm not sure I would've preferred Ben to Xavier if I did meet him that night. Xavier is exactly the kind of a guy I always went for. But what if we did get a chance to talk. What if I did like him then too? The 'what if' game isn't a favorite of mine. "I thought we met at the store."
"No, I went to the store after Xavier mentioned you started working there in the evenings. And once I saw you there, I started going every Tuesday. But I still couldn't force myself to talk to you. I should've explained it all to you earlier." He doesn't turn away from the rainy city behind the glass.
"But there seemed to be no right time to talk about it. I considered confessing about the fight with Xavier when you asked me about my injuries, but I would've had to tell you about the night I first saw you at the bar, and my awkwardness with girls, and that I liked you." His words are a rush, speeding up like he now realizes he has a limited amount of time to confess. "You wouldn't have treated me the same. I knew I should tell you, but I had the best time talking to you, and I was enjoying your company too much to risk it. I didn't want to scare you away by making all of this—"
"What fight with Xavier after? Why after a... a year? I don't understand." If he was upset with Xavier for dating me, why not talk to him then? Why wait a year? And I can't remember anything from that night at the bar that deserved a physical altercation.
Ben rests his forehead against the window. "I knew Xavier was cheating on you. For a while."
My hands fly to my mouth, stifling any sounds of surprise. Cheating? Xavier was cheating on me? I press so hard on my lips and nose that I can't breathe. I don't want to breathe, afraid a sob would come out of my mouth if I allow air in or out. And I was blaming myself for the breakup.
"I've seen him make out with the Zumba instructor once, and he left the tanning room with another girl every Wednesday, and even I know they were not tanning there together," says Ben.
Xavier. That bastard. I move my fingers up only to press them over my eyelids. The lying cheating bastard. The damp is there, and I wipe it away with force. No fucking tears. I've spent too many already on that man.
Ben isn't looking at me. He can't see what his words did to me. And I make damn sure he can't hear anything either. No emotions. I blow out a long breath and hope my voice won't tremble. "I had no idea."
"I couldn't believe Xavier was doing it to you. I wanted to tell you about him and the other girls, but we weren't even on speaking terms then." Ben moves away from the window and faces me, eyes downcast.
"So, I went to Tall for advice . It was then that I decided I needed to find a way to start talking to you, so maybe I could caution you about Xavier. Maybe you'd listen if I weren't a complete stranger. When you asked me about buying coffee, I took the chance."
