Agents of Shield One-Shots

Hey, Google

This takes place sometime when Mace is director, before the LMD stuff. Kind of OOC, but I just wanted a lighthearted bonding scene for the bus kids.

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Get Spotify Premium and get a free Google home mini! The voice in Daisy's headphones yelled at her. 

"Aurgh!!!" Daisy yelled in frustration, throwing her headphones to the ground. "Why are there so many ads!!!"

Daisy was in the common room, and she had been happily listening to music on the soft, comfy couch when Spotify dared to INTERRUPT HER! 

Simmons turned towards her, used to her random outbursts by now. "You know, you've been complaining about the ads for a while now. Why don't you just buy Premium? SHIELD covers the expenses anyway," she said. 

"It's not about the expenses," Daisy said, rotating herself so she was upside down on the couch. "If I buy Spotify Premium, that means the ads have won! I can't let them win!" 

Simmons' eyes twinkled. "Ah, I see. So it's a matter of pride, is it?" She smiled mischievously. "The famous vigilante Quake can't lose to a common advertisement?" 

Daisy glared at her, but Simmons was unaffected. Most others may have run away when on the receiving end of Daisy's glares, which were starting to catch up to May's in level of intimidation, but Jemma had been friends with Daisy for too long. 

"Oh, come on, Daisy!" Simmons said. "No one's going to judge you for it!" 

Daisy grumbled something unintelligible under her breath. 

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A few days later, a very confused mailman arrived at the base. He stood in the middle of the hangar, trying not to get crushed by the many quinjets and zephyrs. In his hand he clutched a small package. 

May was the first to notice him. She told her strike team in training to listen to Agent Piper and walked up to the poor guy. 

"How did you find this place?" She said, glaring at him. "Are you a Watchdog?" The mailman shook at the force of May's glare. He stuttered out a reply. 

"I'm just delivering a package!" He said, "I'm not with the Watchdogs!"

"That's exactly what a Watchdog would say if he found himself in a heavily armed SHIELD base!" May snarled. 

Thankfully for the mailman, Daisy intervened. "Oh wow, is that my package?" she asked the guy. "That was fast! Thanks!" She smiled brightly at the mailman, oblivious to May's glare. Daisy skipped away.

"If you reveal the location of this government base to anyone," May threatened the guy, "I will find you. And I will end you."

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"So, you actually got Spotify Premium," Simmons observed. Fitz and Daisy stood beside her, unpacking Daisy's new Google Home. 

"It was for the Google Mini!" Daisy said defensively. "It was definitely not because of the annoying ads." 

Fitz-Simmons shared an amused look. 

Fitz poked at the round speaker. "Do you think you could let me take this apart? I promise I'll put it back together again," he said, turning the Mini around in his hands. 

"Absolutely not!" Daisy said, scandalized. "This is my baby! I've already named him Jarvis Jr. after Tony Stark's AI."

Fitz scoffed. "As if you're not going to modify the code later. And really, Jarvis Jr.? Talk about lack of creativity!"

"Ahem," Simmons interjected. "I seem to remember a certain someone wanting to name the ICER the 'night night gun.'" 

Fitz whirled around to face his girlfriend, a faux wounded look on his face. "Jemma! How could you!" 

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A little while later, Jarvis Jr. was plugged in and powered up. The bus kids, as they were affectionally nicknamed, had elected unanimously to put him in the common room. Unbeknownst to Simmons, Daisy and Fitz had teamed up to equip the Google Home with a few extra features. 

"You're sure the sensor works, right?" Daisy whispered to Fitz. 

"Of course! What do you take me for?" Fitz whispered back. They were sitting on one of the couches, iPads in hand pretending to work on their projects while actually keeping an eye out for the victims of their prank. 

"What are you whispering about over there?" Simmons asked them, tea in hand, walking over. The two pranksters shushed her frantically. 

"You'll see." Daisy told her. "Now hush," she said emphatically. She turned to Fitz again. "And you're sure that May and Coulson will walk through the door together?"

"Oh, please," Fitz said. "When do they not?" 

"Hold on," Simmons said. "Is this one of your bad girl shenanigans again, Daisy?" 

Daisy glanced at her guiltily. "Maybe? But you'll love this one, I promise," she assured. 

Simmons raised an eyebrow. "Is this Philinda related?" she asked. Back during their days on the Bus, they had thought up a theory of Coulson and Melinda being secretly married, hence the name Philinda. It was a running joke between the three of them, and now Mack and Yo-Yo as well, but honestly, all the agents on the base could see the romantic tension between the two. 

Daisy and Fitz nodded, smiles growing bigger. 

"Then what are you waiting for?" Simmons said, surprising them. While she was amazing, Simmons was a bit of a stickler for rules and professionalism, especially now that she was Mace's Special Advisor in Science and Technology. "Get Mack and Yo-Yo down here too!"

A few text messages later, they were all gathered on the couch of the common area, a board game in front of them to keep from being too suspicious. 

"Checkmate," Mack said distractedly. Elena smacked his arm. 

"Turtleman! Focus! We're playing Clue here, not Chess!" she reminded him. 

Daisy bit back a laugh. 

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The voices of May and Coulson drifted down the hallway into the common room. Daisy gasped, patting the arms of Fitz and Simmons who were sitting on each side of her. "They're coming!"

The five of them put on their most innocent expressions as May and Coulson got closer and closer. Fitz sneakily turned on a small hidden camera.

The two agents walked in to the common room only to be deafened by the sound of Whitney Houston. 

"AND I.... WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU... " blasted the Google Home at top volume. Daisy, Fitz-Simmons, Mack and Yo-Yo turned towards Coulson and May, hands firmly over their ears, trying hard not to burst out laughing. 

May was somehow able to act completely unaffected, but the tips of her ears burned a bright red. Coulson stood there, beet red, his expression delightfully one of shock and mortification.

"Mission accomplished," said Daisy, in between bouts of laughter. 

(The video Fitz took may or may not have been sent anonymously to the entirety of SHIELD, which may or may not have prompted a Philinda betting pool started within the week.)