Agents of Shield One-Shots

Everything you hoped for

I always feel like there should have been a conversation between Skye and May about what happened at Afterlife, so this is my take on it. 

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I hope your mother is everything you hoped for, May had said to her. That sentence, and May's hurt expression when saying it, kept on worming its way into Skye's thoughts. 

Skye was lying on her bed, unable to sleep. She had finally found her parents, both of them, and they had turned out to be psychopaths. She had been happy, hopeful for a chance at having a family. She didn't realize that SHIELD had become her family, that May and Coulson had become her surrogate parents. Even after May took care of her and defended her when she had first gotten her powers, Skye had pushed her away, choosing the mother who had birthed her instead of the mother she had found. She regretted it each and every time she saw May, whose face was now guarded instead of warm. It was like their relationship had reverted back to the cold professionalism from when Skye had first joined the team. 

Since Skye had fought her at Afterlife, May seemed to have been staying away from her. Whenever they talked, May would use one-word answers. It seemed so unlike her stoic, calm S.O. that Skye was starting to get worried. Typically, Skye would avoid apologizing to those whose feelings she had hurt, opting to circumvent the awkwardness instead of confronting the fact that she was wrong, but guilt ate her up inside. It had been keeping her awake at night ever since the disastrous events at Afterlife. She knew she would have to apologize sooner or later. 

That night, after she had watched as her father buried Jiaying in the small graveyard at Afterlife, she had cried, but not for her mother. She had cried because she had betrayed her family and friends. Because she had fought her S.O. Because she had to see her father, who loved her enough to kill Jiaying, lose all of his memories of her. Back when she had never known about Afterlife, May would be the first person who she looked for when she felt like this. The agent always had a way of making her feel better, her quiet composure slowly settling Skye's emotions. But May had been sitting with Coulson, keeping him company as he recovered from his missing hand. And even if she hadn't, Skye wasn't yet brave enough to seek her out. 

Which led to her in her bunk, dark shadows under her eyes. Maybe if she had apologized to May earlier, it wouldn't be as difficult to fall asleep. Skye was pretty sure she was delirious from lack of sleep already, if the yawning was anything to go by. Finally, Skye decided that she had had enough. She took a deep breath, threw off her covers, and slowly made her way out of her bunk, and into the kitchen, where she knew Simmons would put sleeping pills for any agents who needed them. Skye tiptoed in, swallowed the pills, and was just about to leave when she encountered May walking into the kitchen. 

"May!" Skye stammered, unsure what to say. 

The older woman's face was carefully neutral. "Skye," she greeted in return. May walked past her, pouring herself a glass of water. All the while, Skye stood there, frozen. 

Skye knew she should apologize. She knew that this might be her best chance to do it. But somehow the words just couldn't come out of her mouth. May drank her water, rinsed out her glass and walked out of the kitchen, nodding a curt goodnight to Skye. 

"Wait!" Skye said impulsively. May turned around, looking at the young agent. 

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," Skye rushed. 

May's expression didn't change, so Skye continued speaking. 

"I shouldn't have fought you, or brought up Bahrain. I should've trusted that SHIELD wouldn't try to kill Jiaying." If the older agent noticed that Skye had reverted back to calling her mother Jiaying, she didn't react.

Now that she had started, Skye felt all of the guilt in her rise. A tear slid down her cheek. "If I hadn't trusted her, maybe Gonzalez and all those agents would still be alive. And Mack wouldn't have needed to cut off Coulson's hand," she said, crying. "Maybe we could've had an alliance with all the Inhumans."

This admission of her feelings seemed to have forced its way past May's stony facade. May's expression softened, and she put a hand on Skye's shoulder comfortingly. 

"Listen to me, Skye," she said. "None of that was your fault. Jiaying would've found a way to start a war with or without you. You helped stop her in the end, and that's what matters."

"No, it's not!" Skye sobbed. "Because of me and my dumb desire to find my parents, a war happened! And the worst part is that both of them were murderers! Jiaying tried to kill me, for god's sake!"

May held the agent tight in her arms. "Skye. It wasn't dumb of you to want to find your parents," she said forcefully. "Anyone would have done what you did if they were in your position."

"You don't understand," Skye sniffled. "I had already found a family, with SHIELD, and I betrayed all of you. I fought you, May! I knew I could've hurt you, and I did it anyway."

"And you're standing here, apologizing," May rebutted. "Everyone makes mistakes. You fixed yours." 

A yawn from Skye interrupted their conversation. May sighed, leading the tired agent towards her bunk. "You need to get some sleep," she reprimanded. 

Skye appeared not to have heard her. "I don't understand why all of you don't hate me," she said, her voice broken. "You should've let Sif bring me to Asgard when you had the chance."

May took a sharp breath in, her feet bringing the two of them to a stop. "Skye, we don't hate you because we care about you. We didn't send you to Asgard for the same reason. And I promise you, if you asked Coulson, or Fitz-Simmons, or Mack they'd all agree with me that we would never give up on you no matter what you do."

May's firm statement seemed to have finally gotten through to Skye. She stared at May, eyes still glistening with tears. 

"You should sleep," May said again, more gently this time. She guided Skye to her bunk, both of them silent. Skye relaxed into her pillows while May pulled the covers up to tuck her in. She turned to face her S.O. as May turned off her light. 

"You know, May, for what it's worth, Jiaying wasn't everything I had hoped for. You are," Skye said drowsily, the sleeping pills kicking in. 

The older agent paused for a moment, the full implications of Skye's words hitting her. She tenderly brushed Skye's hair out of her face. 

"I love you, Skye," she murmured quietly. Skye was already asleep. 

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Ahh such fluffiness! I've never written something with such emotional conversations before. Let me know how I did! I appreciate constructive criticism, too. 

-browneyedgenius