Something Blue

Chapter 12

Katherine

Since Gabe had told her Melissa was coming, Katherine had played out the scene in her head a thousand times.

In one scenario, Melissa gasped when she saw all the damage and spent the whole visit ranting and raving about Jacob's cruelty. In another, she was awkward and wouldn't stop rambling about how sorry she was for Katherine's suffering. In another, she was awkward and quiet, as if they had never been friends.

Between anticipation of Melissa's arrival and her dreadful interaction with Gabe earlier in the morning, Katherine spent the better part of the day in a restless, exhausted doze. Gabe had made himself scarce, for which she was grateful. Their conversation had left her feeling humiliated and wracked with terrible guilt. He was so kind to her, so generous, and it seemed she had lost even the paltry ability to make him smile.

So she tossed and turned in his bed, too weak to rouse herself and play with Isobel and too agitated to rest. Her body had left the fever and incapacitating agony phase of injury and had entered the pulsing, all-over ache and crippling weakness phase. She was no stranger to pain, but this was far and away the worst it had ever been. She had never before thought she would die...

No. It was better not to think about that night.

"Katherine?"

The low voice shocked her out of her half sleep and she shot up, only to be laid low by the knives of pain that shot through her ribs. She gasped, and would have collapsed back to the pillows if a strong hand hadn't curved around the back of her neck, another hand between her shoulder blades, lowering her down slowly.

His hands were so gentle, his voice so soft it hurt her somewhere deep inside where only tenderness could reach. "I'm sorry for startling you."

She was making him feel bad, and she wanted to weep because even his gentle hands, even his soft voice couldn't change the fact that his touch made her cringe. She couldn't bear for him to have his hands on her. Now that her senses were returning to her, it was as if some dormant instinct had come alive. She knew Gabe. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. But the low baritone of his voice and the strength in his hands repulsed her in a way she could not control, no matter how hard she tried. Even now, as he carefully lifted her aching body and stacked pillows behind her, his touch made her spine prickle with unease.

He seemed to know, because as soon as she was situated he stepped away, and she didn't miss the way his hands curled into fists at his sides. She knew how badly he wanted to touch her, and she understood. She wanted to touch him too. No, that wasn't quite right. She wanted to want to touch him. The way she had before Isobel, when she had trusted him implicitly and let him love her with every ounce of flesh and soul he had to offer.

Now...

"Melissa is here," he said softly, and she could hear how hard he was struggling to keep his voice gentle. Her Gabe had never had a gentle voice. Even as a boy he'd been a little gruff and rough around the edges.

"Oh," she said, because she didn't know what else to say. She knew what she wanted to say. Please, no. Make her go away. I just want to be alone. She knew what he needed her to say. Great! Send her right in! I'm so happy you arranged this!

"So..." he trailed off. "Amelia came too, and she brought Reb. They usually come with Josh when he visits, so it won't draw any attention. And they thought maybe it would be nice for Iz to have someone to play with. If you're not comfortable with it, that's okay. Amelia said she understands if you just want to see Melissa."

I don't want to see any of them! She looked at where Isobel was playing in the corner by the hearth, using a dull butter knife to cut into the "cake" she'd made from dirt, ashes, and water. What a mess. Where had she even gotten the dirt?